mothyneur

325d

hi guys!

i've been struggling a lot lately with my emotional regulation. im currently visiting my partner (we're ldr) and he has cfs/mes (chronic fatigue syndrome) so he ends up sleeping more frequently for longer periods of time.

usually im pretty good at dealing with that as we've been together for 2 years and known each other for 6, so we have a lot of experience with each other's conditions and symptoms. however lately i've been getting irrationally upset when he does sleep a lot, after 2-3 hours of being up without him. and because im in a new country and stuff, away from my usual hobbies and friends, it makes it even worse as usually i cope by being in the presence of other people or doing my other hobbies.

i know my anger is really misplaced with that, and thankfully hes been extremely patient with me and my fear of abandonment that apparently extends to my partner sleeping a lot nowadays (like he's sleeping to avoid me, etc). however its been really hard w/o my therapist and my usual environment. plus the added autism diagnosis, the drastic change from the us to europe is insane and very upsetting.

does anyone have any advice on how to do this? my emotional regulation and paranoia are getting to me a lot, so if anyone has any tips on how to deal with it better?? tysm 🖤

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)

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  • Ai.den

    323d

    Honestly I’ve had this issue in Europe as someone from the US 😭 with my partner sleeping despite me being awake. I just- had to keep myself busy by doing things that would make him happy when he woke up. Like prepping to make dinner, organizing, going on walks and thinking about things I could tell him that I saw when I got back, etc. I needed that immediate praise when he woke up or I’d be very- mean to him otherwise like his sleep was him leaving me for the day. I asked for recommendations of places to go that he liked so I could be there while he was sleeping, I’d read any books that he bought so we could talk about them, etc. I tried to recenter my anger into excitement so I wouldn’t blow up as much. I used to try sleeping with him until he woke up but that works rarely. Also asking him to tell me he loves me as soon as he wakes up or getting some kind of hug. So my mind is immediately at ease and I don’t have to ask if he still loves me because he knows to say it

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