Struggling with Dissociative Identity Disorder

I’ve been scared to think if I have DiD. Ive been so out of a loop lately. Or at least with therapy Ive been noticing it. I cant remember why Ive been doing things and out in public Im so confused a good chunk of the time. Ive been dissociative as hell and I cant ever recognize my face. I genuinely got upset the other night again because I didn’t understand why I was here in this body and place and not with a certain fictional character and I didnt see the point if I didnt have my other half (which was said character). I got 2 hours of sleep that day and couldnt go to bed again. Sorry so much of this seems jumbled Im just afraid and confused again