Struggling with Dissociation: Seeking Help

I relate. I didn't realize until I was out of it, but I used to dissociate daily, in terms of the heavy trance kind. I still have DPDR about half the time, and there are parts of me that come out only very occasionally. When dissociation feels like the safest strategy, you start using it for everything. I think I've been getting better, but it's a slow process.

Your first paragraph, I relate 100%. I made the mistake of looking into all of my disorders and became so obsessed with my BPD I ended up in the hospital. I was hyperfixating on my symptoms and drove myself mad. That's how I ended up learning about the dissociation and I didn't realize I been dissociating most of the past like 12 years of my life. I'm finally able to recognize when it's happening and work on getting out of it. It's just weird how intense my emotions and different I act when I'm dissociating. I'm like a completely different person when dissociating.

100 percent relate. You can reach out at anytime

I think I get what you mean, but I’m not entirely sure. I tend to get panic attacks and used to get very scared of the things I would experience (Alice in Wonderland Syndrome symptoms is a big one). I’ve also noticed common places or really scary situations that trigger it or where it has happened makes me want to avoid those things (I’m curious if you do that too). I really try my absolute hardest not to give those things attention. When you give those things the attention, they get the power over you and you spiral and dwell on it (if your mind is even capable of that lol). I try my best to acknowledge what I’m doing and try to move on by letting everything happen without trying to freak out and stress over it. Just acknowledging that I’m having a panic attack and to use deep breathing to better control my heart rate and lighter breathing is all I do. The only thing I may do if it gets bad enough is to use those grounding techniques to try and cope with them. Also, don’t spiral yourself looking for “answers” or do a stupid amount of research into this like I have. I learned the hard way, but it actually makes it worse. When dissociation is all you can think about, you will keep dissociating because you are stressed about dissociating. Inform yourself, but not too much, and always make sure you are in a good mind frame to do such. I wish the best to you in your recovery!