Struggling with Derealization: Memories and Perception

Hi everyone. I've been struggling because of derealization for years now. I only remembered this past few weeks that I've had episodes when I was younger (I'm turning 20) but I'm not a hundred percent sure because the derealization has affected my memories in a way that I can't have a hundred percent certainty that the details of my memories are accurate. I might just be imagining it because of the way I'm feeling right now, that is the derealization might just be causing me to associate it with the past as if it's affected my judgment. I know about my childhood, I have a few memories and facts I can remember but not as much as I should. I can't picture them as vivid as they can be like a normal person. I'm surprised that I still recognize my family and friends. When they talk about the past, I just can't help but listen even if I don't remember anything about it. I suffer from depersonalization as well but I'm more bothered, even disturbed, by the feeling that I can't perceive the world as real. People, objects, places have no essence or substance. Everything is lifeless. I always feel disoriented and it doesn't come and go, it's just always there dwelling.