Struggling with Depression for Years

ive struggled with depression for an ongoing 8 or 9 years. and even while i sit with my mom in the car, i cant stop feeling so numb. usually its either i feel so sensitive, or i feel nothing at all. my mind has been blank for a couple of months now. almost a year, i think? i dont talk to anybody about it. but the thing i cant stand with is the numbness. i cant feel anything. i dont think about anything. its as if im just a breathing vessel.