Struggling with Depression and Anxiety: My Medication Journey

I'm in my 30s and recently my depression and anxiety have been terrible. I was using the online cerebral doctors and it worked for about a year or so but getting appointments was very inconvenient and it seems they have a high turnaround in doctors bc I always had a new one and a new counselor. The price kept going up and was around 100 something a month. I was on Wellbutrin xl, buspurone, and hydroxyzine. I've tried almost every medication out there: Lexapro, celexa, Wellbutrin. my sexual side affects were severe and my marriage has suffered ever since. I was feeling like a complete shell and not like myself at all so I decided to get off of everything. it's been almost a month and a half and I have good days and terrible days. also hate going to the Dr in person bc I always feel judged etc. just wanted to reach out here. 😮‍💨🙂