Struggling with Coping Skills and Anxiety

I am a veteran RN and a single Dad. I’ve been through some really rough family divorce stuff and just a lot over my life. I have my depression and anxiety generally under control. Yet I have horrible coping skills when it hits the fan with personal life. I am so used to taking care of everyone else I struggle when it comes to me. It’s very lonely and desolate sometimes. I feel like I can’t relate to people. My mind even though it has a rational side I can’t let go of this idea of potential impending disaster. It’s as if I am in this constant mode of prepare for the next hurricane rather than just enjoying the moment I have. It becomes a cycle. I get worked up and worried and then it’s hard to focus on anything because I start focusing on everything and it’s like I run in circles. I have been seeing a counselor and I have definite PTSD as my life as a nurse and my childhood. I just want peace in my life and they have messed with my meds for years. I listen to audiobooks about the amygdala hijack and they all make sense but I can’t get my brain to let go to allow me that ability to rest enough to allow the healing to happen. How do you break a cycle of saying disasters happen all the time? The next thing you do is going to be a mess? How do you stop feeling like your on trial all the time and the jury constantly sees you guilty? I need your advice because this is ruining my life and my relationships and I get so depressed by it I end up just wanting to sleep. How do I stop this? I see a psychiatrist and a counselor I’m on meds. I try audiobooks. I have read a lot of buddihst monk stuff about peace. I guess it’s like my mind just likes the misery and it’s sucks. It does because I don’t want to live like this. I have support but friends and family work and have their own lives and it’s me alone. I work a lot so I don’t have a pet or a distraction. If you have ever felt this how did you get it to stop? HELP !! Thank you