Struggling with College and Mental Health

I have an extremely similar story (sophomore year started a toxic relationship and became full blown alcoholic, incurred several traumas, dropped out of college, and eventually escaped all of that and got myself put back together). I'm now graduated from college and have held down a good job for the last two years. So first of all I wanna say I understand what you've been through, and how incredible it is that you're in a better place in your life. Because YOU made that happen despite your pain. It's not easy to pull yourself forward when your future looks so dark, but you did it and you'll only continue to go up from here. Second, pull from your resources as much as you can. I went to my financial aid adviser and gave an overview of the difficulties I faced, and they were able to give me subsidized loans and a few small grants. Also I'm still pretty in debt, but I was able to work out a financial plan with my loan company based on my income, so I've been able to manage it well. With credit in general, it's more important that you pay the minimum payments consistently, than it is the amount of debt you have. Third, if you can get therapy, I definitely recommend it. It has been the best thing for me to heal and move forward. You can see if your school provides free counseling for students as well, since they often do. If not, consider looking into free DBT resources. It's a therapy that was designed specifically for Borderline, and it's amazing. There are a lot of free worksheets and information and youtube videos online. Fourth, you are not the same person you were the last time you were in school. That era is over, and you survived it. You get to leave that behind now and be the strong, focused, alleviated person you are now. Good luck with everything and congratulations!!!