Struggling with Borderline Personality Disorder: Need Coping Tips and Validation

ive been suspecting that i have borderline personality disorder since i was 12. my mom never listened to me though. i officially self diagnosed myself this year after my friend told me “a medical diagnosis is just a conformation of what you already know”. i struggle with every single symptom of borderline and some (depression and panic disorder which are both medically diagnosed). im struggling to find a therapist. so i need ways to help cope with my symptoms: sleep, energy, depersonalization, abandonment issues, etc… i need validation that im not a bad person and im not abusive. ive hurt people on accident but never on purpose. it makes me feel very guilty and ashamed of myself. now im a massive people pleaser and i stretch myself to make sure people like me. i try to get over it but it makes me feel like an a-hole. any tips?