Struggling with Body Image and Self-Worth

Been pretty down on myself about my appearance lately, I keep looking at old pictures of myself from when I was thin and had a nice body and I’m trying to come to terms with the fact that I will never look like that again. My brain keeps telling me it’s all downhill from here, you’re just going to keep getting older and uglier and fatter until you die. Now that I’m in my 30s I’m obese and still have acne even with prescription treatment and I know even if I lose weight I will still have the stretch marks and probably loose skin so it won’t be the same. I wonder how anyone could ever be physically attracted to me and constantly tell myself how disgusting I am. Then I beat myself up for being so insecure. Not sure how to phrase this as a question just wanna see if anyone can relate on some level. I know appearance isn’t t everything but it’s still something I used to take pride in. As I type this out I wonder if I’m grieving some kind of loss of who I thought I was or how I see myself. Not really sure how to adjust to the new me