Struggling with Body Image and Self-Love

I’ve been really hating my body lately. I’m at my heaviest body weight I’ve ever been in my life. When I look in the mirror I’m in disgust. My husband loves me and my body no matter my size, and I love him for that. But sometimes I feel so gross I don’t want to be touched. I’m still considered a “small” but I don’t feel like it. I’m at the point where I’m wearing shape wear with everything… jeans, dresses, skirts etc. it’s mostly my stomach that I absolutely hate. From the front I look okay. From the side? Disgusting. And no matter what I try I CANNOT lose the weight either. I’m on antidepressants and birth control so that certainly doesn’t help. I don’t know what to do or how to love my body anymore. I miss cute clothes and being confident.