I feel like this too. Mostly because me and everyone else in my life knows I'm autistic but we can't get a professional diagnosis because I'm very high-functioning (a lot of people don't like that label but I literally don't know how else to describe myself I'm sorry!), I'm a woman, and the process is just long and expensive. I mostly just feel a sense of hurt when people say they're proud to be autistic but I'm not. It makes my life way harder than it needs to be.

My relief came in the form of knowing that I wasn’t alone, and that I didn’t have to conform to standards that did not suit me. However, I relate a lot to what you’re saying about the feelings associated with navigating resources. There’s a lot of deficit language surrounding many neurodivergencies, and it feels like the needs of autistic adults is one of many that gets swept under the rug. It can be very overwhelming to realize that the supports we need simply do not exist in the neurotypical world. I’m coming back around to the idea of community and learning how to offer my strengths and get help in places I struggle. That offers some solace. But seeing as socializing is an area that is hugely affected by my autistic brain, I still feel bummed out about how my needs will be met. It doesn’t always look great, but at least we have each other to lean on and explore different ideas with.