Struggling with Accepting My Possible Autism Diagnosis

I have not been diagnosed with autism. I sometimes feel like I don't belong in the community bc of that and maybe it's all in my head and I'm being dramatic, but then I hear any autistic person talk about their experiences and always relate. I wore my socks inside out as a kid. I hyperfocus on specific things. I have a hard time remembering/willing myself to do basic tasks. I've never had many friends and throughout adulthood have learned more and more of my friends are autistic. I used to force myself into a time crunch to finish something before some random mental deadline like the end of a song or series of words in my head and convince myself that if I didn't make it I'd be attacked by some mysterious enemy I made up in the moment. I sometimes still do that but I've figured out how to mentally defuse myself. One of the things that held me back a lot from accepting it or not is that my therapist told me I can't be autistic, but I think she might actually just not understand that aspect of psychology??? The reason she gave is that I want friends, but every person I know who's confirmed autistic has said that's stupid and insulting to say that just because autistic people socialize differently means they don't WANT friends and in fact it's usually allistic people who won't be friends with them because their weird and so they stop prioritizing it or approach it differently but never just don't want friends ??? idk guys I'm just lost and overwhelmed and ahhh