Struggling with a Toxic Marriage

I have complex PTSD and depression. I have been with my husband for 5 years and married for 3. During our relationship we have both hurt each other in significant ways, trust has been broken, communication has never been healthy, and neither of us can seem to understand each other's emotions. In the past I have had a number of unhealthy relationships, and I have been with abusive partners. He has also been in unhealthy relationships and we both have been raised in toxic environments due to our parents own dysfunctional dynamics. For a short time we went to a couples therapist who despite all her efforts eventually was out of ways to try to help us. I was completely on board with the things she was trying to implement into our relationship, teaching us to work on our belief systems and how to recognize our triggers. To me the tools she was giving us could really improve our marriage, but my husband was not grasping these tools in conflict and we were both resulting back to old behaviors. We stopped going to therapy and since I have constantly been researching and trying to implement healthier things within our relationship but no matter what I try it's always the same cycle. After we fight I'm left feeling as if everything wrong with our relationship is my fault. Something that should not be a fight becomes a fight no matter how I try to approach the situation. I'm so desperate to make my marriage healthy enough to continue but how can I if every attempt is rejected and I am still treated as though I have made no progress with my mental health? I feel stuck, life I can't grow further as long as our relationship is this way but if I leave I am just giving up. I desperately need help. Is it even possible for us to have a healthy dynamic? Am I just crazy and it should be okay to be made to feel like I want more from my marriage? I'm sorry this is so long, and I will appreciate any input. 🕉️ Namaste