Struggling to Unmask: Any Tips?

Honestly I don't really know how I mask, I've just always been unapologetically me, that being said the way I was taught how to function I don't know how to ease my hypersensitivy aside from completely removing myself from the environment that is overstimulating,and you can see how that can effect my ability to do work lol

The way I did it was to look back at every small trigger that made me not want to unmask. I looked for the root of it and then worked my way through teaching myself that it wasn't the situation anymore and I'm safe. Just anytime you start to shut down because of trying to unmask, reassure yourself and find the route. If someone ask what you are doing, just say you were zoning out

Idk for me I have been around my sisters and they're so mean to me and everyone else and I'm just so nice but when it's towards them I get so angry start yelling at them like they yell at me I guess you can say I mimic their attitude towards me and mirror it back to them but their actions I do not mimic somehow thank goodness but I have been watching the good doctor on Hulu and OMG he's cute but I'm mimicking the way he talks and it's so irritating because everyone is just looking at me like what because of it sadly lol 🤣 when I finish the series of the good doctor I'm just going to have to watch something else LOL so I don't mimic everything he does I don't know I have masked for a while because when I was little I was bullied a lot so it's kind of hard for me not to mask because I don't know who I am at this point I feel bad about it but I don't know what to do.

I’m struggling a lot with unmasking, because at first I was very excited to just throw it all out and be my “natural self”. However, I’ve realized that some of the mask is still a big part of me, especially as far as socializing because I don’t naturally actually have that ability. It’s a delicate balance of what you want to keep and how you use it.

I also use my arms and hands to stim and only do that at home

So I was put into ABA as a child and they taught me that I had to act like a NT. My biggest issue is I am my true self at home but once I'm outside of the house I mask myself to seem like an NT. Anytime I have tried back when I was a child to act like my true self I would get abused or hated on.

For me mindfulness is a big aspect. Looking inside myself and asking, who is this for? How would I react if I was alone? How would I react around safe people I don't mask for? Autism (in my experience) also comes with identity struggles which makes it a but trickier, but if you're following your gut you're likely on the right track!

For me, unmasking alone helped me feel more comfortable. For example, I am sensory seeking most of the time, so when I was alone I'd let myself go all out stimming until I felt more comfortable in public. Also surrounding myself with unmasked people helped me because part of masking is mirroring so if those around you don't mask then you'll stop mirroring neurotypical behavior until you can just let yourself be!

Personally I can't wear a mask at all unless it's a special plastic one that I wear under the regular surgical masks. I can't wear the fabric ones or the surgical ones unless I wear that plastic one.