Struggling to Stay Alive with an Eating Disorder

I actually found 99% of the time, baby food puree would stay down. Lived on baby food and Pedialyte for about 7months, I also supplemented with slim fast shakes too

Most of my time is spent in a continuous flare up. In fact my only relief has oddly enough been my period. It’s made me very hungry and able to eat a little more. Although, the rest of the time I struggle to even survive. On a regular basis I would get no more than 600cal / day. I can’t throw up due to etemophobia so I ended up feeling really sick for days at a time when I fuck up and eat something that triggers my stomach. Today I managed to only eat once in 10hrs and In my urgency to get some calories I’ve made myself nauseous and caused stomach pain 🙄 I’m worried I’ll end up needing a tube bc of my lack of calories and inability to process vitamins and nutrition