Struggling to Socialize with Family and Friends

i love using this app. i love the support this community gives. i love yall. theres still so much i want to say but when im with my mom i become speechless i just have nothing to say the only think that makes me feel and talk is when i smoke and it sucks more that it reminds me of some people in my past that werent actually my friends. and smoking weed makes me talkative and feel good enough to socialize. i dont like that the last time i spoke to a friend was 8 weeks ago. thsts so long. i want the social practice to get in a new place. especially with my family. i dont like the habits i gained from my mother like not giving other people space. irritating them and walk into people i dont like that. i guess its one thing i learned after high school. those four years were hard asf abusive cruel and crucial. i hope my high school life will be 4x over different. and i hope i make friends on this app and i hope i can get to learn about each of you and your stories.