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SavageSav

683d

As context for this post I need everyone to know that I have C-PTSD, Bipolar 2 Disorder, BPD and fibromyalgia. So if you wear any or multiple of these hats I'm anxious to hear your opinions. I CANNOT motivate myself to work. I'm unemployed right due to being fired for my physical disability. They didn't SAY that but it was kind of obvious at a certain point. I'm looking for a job right now because I don't really have a choice; we need the money and my boyfriend works full time so he's carrying all the weight of providing for us financially. But even when I HAD a job it was SO difficult to get myself to go and I was just dreading it every day, even though it was a job I enjoyed AFTER getting there. And what makes this even more confusing is that I don't have this problem with cleaning my house, running errands or going to school. It's only work and keeping a job. Why do I have this problem??

    • KitKat1450

      683d

      I feel this a lot. I’ve realized for me the hardest part is starting and once I actually start working I have a problem stopping. I go until I hit a wall and it takes longer to recover. I now work for my dad since I have physical limitations and now from chronic pain, which allows me to make my own schedule and work from home most of the time. My brain fog has been thru the roof this year so for me that also plays a part… I don’t feel comfortable working when I can barely think coherently. But once I start working, my mind is like this is awesome we’re being productive making money and can’t stop to eat, drink it feels a bit manic. Working for my dad, I’m not doing the work I feel called to but rather it’s my back up- it’s interesting, easier than starting my own business, and pays well but the job itself doesn’t do anything for me like my other jobs used to. I also procrastinate with cleaning or errands so I feel productive but then get too exhausted to get work done after- which is normally the plan and feel like it’s an acceptable way to self-sabotage so I don’t have so deal as much with feeling inadequate while working. But in the long run it makes it actually worse. Working on coming up with a better plan using “executive function” hacks (helps with ADHD- not diagnosed with but they help me personally. Actually diagnosed with bipolar). I want to do it but it’s like I’m waiting to be in the right zone or mood so now I’ve started to help create that and take out some of the barriers. So many things that could come into play- is there something you can make money doing that you actually enjoy or are excited about? Are you afraid of the expectations of having a job with a disability? - for me that’s a big one, I don’t want to start something again that I care about and let ppl or myself down, deal with perfectionism so in my head if I am not functioning optimally it’s like I shouldn’t even try. Working on telling myself something is better than nothing. Is there something about having a job that you feel like neglect your self-care?- that’s also a big one for bipolar is like I can do a normal job/school full time for a while but at some point crash and quit because I didn’t establish a balance soon enough and trying to reset while working is a lot to handle. I don’t know the answer but I know it’s complex… I would say start brainstorming and looking for ways or things you could do to make money that you’ll feel like you are living out your purpose or be able to keep up with consistently. And try to figure out what the actual block/problem is and ways to either make that work for you or work around it. My life is currently a mess so not the best to give advice but I know I’ve got to change some things so I don’t keep the cycle going. I hope you find your answers and can figure out what actually helps you succeed.

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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