Struggling to Keep My Head Above Water

I'm really struggling with just keeping my head above water recently. This past winter was unbearable for me mentally and physically, and I've been looking forward to summer thinking things would get better, but here I am, in more constant physical pain than I have been for this long before, lapse in insurance coverage because I turned 26 and got booted off my parents insurance and my job just blatantly lied to us about providing health insurance and I somehow don't qualify for Medicaid even though I don't make enough money to even pay my full rent most months, not to mention copays before the insurance lapse, utilities, and groceries. I had to go off my medications even before the insurance issue because I couldn't afford the $140+ a month in copays (that's even with the discount codes and all the help and research for me the nice pharmacist did) and so my already awful mental health is now unmedicated on top of everything. my physical health has been rapidly declining over the past 2 years (didn't really think it had much room to fall but boy was I wrong) and the extremely humid climate where I live is just making things so much worse. I'm working two manual labor jobs averaging at about 50hrs a week just to try and keep our house and that's definitely contributing to my physical and mental decline, but there just aren't other options for me where I am. I've been thinking for years now "I don't know if I can make it through another winter here", and somehow I've managed, but now I genuinely don't know how I'm going to make it through this summer. I'm appealing the medicaid decision but my county said it "could take months" and I'm pretty certain I'm going to either be fired or forced out of my jobs before then. I keep losing weight at an alarming rate and I'm really concerned about it and some other new symptoms that have joined in on the fun recently, but even if I currently had a doctor go see about it I doubt they'd listen (the last two that I tried to bring up the unintentional weight loss to basically told me to "not look a gift horse in the mouth" which is just the perfect thing to say to someone with my concern and my history of eating disorders). it's getting to the point where I've considered going inpatient just to get a break or potentially have a doctor take me seriously, but that'd just land me in even more medical debt than I'm already in and I have enough medical trauma as is from my last inpatient stint. I want to be excited and happy this summer, it's pride month but how the fuck am I supposed to feel any sort of pride for who I am when my country very clearly wants me dead not just for being gay and trans, but for being disabled too? I'm not looking for any advice, I'm just at the end of my rope after another night of painsomnia and need to vent before shoving everything back down again and going to work in an hour.