Struggling to Get a Service Dog

This is definitely for a more specific group of disabled people, specifically those with service dogs, though I’m super desperate for answers so anyone can answer. I have been looking into a service dog since I was in 7th grade. I had sent in application after application to every service dog training place but it was declined every single time. Though my chronic pain, my hearing loss and my hip dysplasia worsened and eventually I had more surgery to correct it, I am considering getting one again. I’ve tried self training one, but the dog my brother got was from a shitty backyard breeder (I had no control over this, I didn’t even know about it). Peanut is an amazing dog but he has issues with trusting people and was not good with service work, I had no choice but to wash him. So here I am, 10th grade. 3 years later and I’m still sending in applications. They keep getting denied and the reasoning is either “You’re not suitable for a service dog” or “Not allowed to disclose”. I find myself in a stupid war with myself and though I have a list of reasons for needing one, I always feel like I don’t deserve one and there are those worse than me. I’ve also gotten stupidly jealous over those with a service dog. I know it’s a lot of training, work and especially money. I tell myself I should be happy, that these people are getting the help they deserve but it’s so hard to just avoid it because it’s been on my mind for so long. I’m in pain and my parents won’t even consider mobility aids besides a cane I already that makes my pain worse now. They (mostly my mom) considered a service dog and is willing to put in the money for it as well as outside family but I have never gotten past the application process and I’m losing hope.