Struggling to get a BPD diagnosis

I hate my mirroring!!! Hate hate hate it! With no self identity it’s impossible to not sometimes 😔 One of the ones I experience more often than I want is dissociation. When I try to hold in my negative emotions, my brain fogs and clouds and I don’t know who or where I am I don’t know how to move etc. changing ideals, morals, qualities, careers, passions a lot! One day I’m a sweet, empathetic “would die for you” individual, the next I’m smoking, cursing, and standing up for myself in the most mean way possible. I have no filter and find ways to offend. One day I’ll be infatuated and love someone to the ends of the earth, and all they have to do is step the wrong way once and I swear I could run them over with my car. These are some of my more “uncommon”/serious ones. I hope you find what you’re looking for!

Mirroring really. Not having a sense of identity makes me take on whoevers outward identity that I'm around. I generally limit my company to one person. I become a completely different person depending on who I'm around. Some people see this as manipulation but it's not something I do with maintent. It's the only way I feel people are comfortable with me. People tell me they have never had such a deep connection to someone when really im just mimicing their personality.