Struggling to find the right ADHD medication

i have a slew of diagnoses including ocd, ADD, BPD, PTSD, depression, GAD, and panic disorder. I also suspect autism and have done the RAADs test that suggests I am autistic. My biggest problem in everyday life is difficulty focusing and lack of motivation for anything beyond dopamine-giving behavior. That's why I was kinda asking specifically about ADD medication. I do want treated for my depression but ADD treatment is most important to me currently. Thank you for your kind words, I feel so much more validated after all of the replies. It was very confusing to be told to fix the problem I struggle with fixing due to a lack of treatment.

Primary care doctors can prescribe medication for ADHD as well.

thank you for your response! That's a good idea if I ever feel enticed but so far I've never had a problem with the prescription stimulants as I can only take low doses (to avoid the anxiety of increased heart rate, etc.) So I'm not actually too worried about the overuse aspect. I don't really even "abuse" the illicit opiates, I only use enough to be functional and I purposefully avoid any sort of nod because that seems too close to an OD for me to be comfortable with. I have heard that time locked bottle seals can be really helpful for forgetting if you've taken medication/ remembering to take medication and I think that may also be a good detterant for overuse (just another idea if you struggle with it personally!)

I’d definitely look for a new psych, and part of the cycle of addiction recovery is guilt. It’s one of the humps we all have to get over, don’t get down about it because anyone who understands that issue has also experienced that. Addiction issues are VERY common with adhd, and all of those issues your psych told you to fix are all things that should make them WANT to prescribe you a med that could help more. It’s a shame they are looking at it all wrong. Something I’ve read about being better if you’re worried about stimulant medication and your addiction issues is that asking for a weeks supply prescription at a time instead of the usual months worth can be less stressful and enticing! Plus you can always put it in a safe box with a code where you have to consciously think and have a moment to debate with yourself if it ever comes to that instead of just a bottle on the counter

I am so so sorry but you're 100% right about both of those things being ADHD symptoms, that psychiatrist is essentially punishing you by refusing needed treatment over the symptoms you're looking to treat, do not go back. Meds definitely have the potential to help with those things as well, especially your sleep schedule. I'd look around for another doctor and try to get in with them and get a prescription, even some primary care doctors can prescribe ADHD medications. I usually suggest looking for doctors who say they don't start with meds, but are still open to them, when starting ADHD treatment because those doctors are more likely to have a more balanced knowledge base allowing you to have access to both coping mechanisms/therapy as well as the opportunity to go on meds if you need it. However I'm sure for your situation you'd like to get on meds as soon as possible since you know they help, and self medicating sucks especially when it's not the right stuff and from an outside perspective everyone just pins you as an addict with no other nuance, so I would suggest looking for a doctor who will give you meds asap and then when things are more stable, assuming you dont luck out and find your ideal therapist that way, looking for a more well rounded therapist/psychiatrist that can help with any other aspects you might need aside from the medication.

Definitely try another psychiatrist. And be completely open with them about everything you've gone through from when you were young through now.

I’m sorry to hear you’re going through all that. I would definitely look into getting another doctor/psychiatrist, especially to try to help with the opiate addiction since that could, along with ADHD, be exacerbating a lot of the issues you may be experiencing. Unfortunately ADHD can sometimes be the cause of poor diet and sleep which makes ADHD worse, which makes the diet and sleep worse. It’s an awful cycle. Since your psych seems to be very dismissive, I would try to find another one who is actually willing to help. Sometimes it can take a few tries to find the right one. Best of luck to you!