Struggling to Find Meaning and Happiness in Daily Life

How can I feel like I'm doing more than just coping and surviving? I'm finding it hard to feel okay with myself and my daily routine. I'm just always doing things to keep an anxiety attack or depression at bay. I'm just trying to distract myself but I'm not necessarily happy or finding meaning in things. And I also have concentration issues (I was diagnosed with ADHD before but not put on meds because of having a history of arrhythmia). I used to freelance but it got too draining for me so I'm on a break from it, but I can't get a traditional job because of a lot of other factors going on in my life right now. I spend hours journaling, which honestly doesn't always make me feel much better. I do like keeping track of my thoughts but sometimes journaling makes me overthink, or I feel like I'm not making much progress and that nothing significantly changes in my life. I used to love walks to the park and it helped with my insomnia too, but it's unusual for me to get away with spending much time outside of the house, plus this time of year the rain gets too bad for walking (pouring rain with thunder and lightning, not light drizzles). My mood has just been so low and hopeless, like I'm not doing enough but I just get too overwhelmed at the thought of doing things anyway.