See Alike in...

Alike App

Browser

Xhalite

669d

I am autistic. I feel like I am supposed to have stims, and I clearly remember repeating phrases I found interesting over and over as a child and doing certain things with my hands which others perceived as "weird" or "atypical". Whenever I try to be myself, people assume I am stupid, drunk, or high on something. People tell me I talk too loudly and have often refused to listen to well reasoned arguments for things I am passionate about because I am too loud or they "don't want to talk about controversial subjects". This has led to years of being mistreated and not heard, and now I am severely depressed and anxious without my medication. I don't deny the severity of depression, especially my own, at all. I have been there... and I am referring to a particular general class of actions which I would rather not specify due to how it triggers intense emotionality in myself and potentially others. These are actions which often carry the consequence of psychiatric hospitalization. I am deeply resentful of how I have been treated and continue to be treated by some people. This has built up to be a significant source of anger for me. I am very principled and believe in physical violence as ONLY a last resort self-defense when you have zero options for escape. Yet, people assume I will become violent when I get angry, because when I get angry, it is more of a meltdown than violent intent. I only get angry when I perceive that someone absolutely refuses to listen to me. This has led to people falsely assuming danger and calling the police for example. Invariably, the police see that I am not a threat other than maybe a bit loud, but they are ill-equipped to truly help. Nobody, not even my parents, seems to understand how I feel or think. They refuse to understand, apparently. I am so sick of feeling afraid to be myself. I have no real ability to mask. People notice that I don't look at them, that I'm "weird", and have a tendency to discuss things at great length and zero fear of controversial topics. So I usually stay quiet and avoid everyone and everything, which not only doesn't solve my problems, but can make things worse. I suppose I am asking for help finding myself again and dealing with situations and people that frustrate me.

    • Markitty

      667d

      i just realized i had autism last year! i was always abliest to myself about including hating my stimming behaviours, they seemed normal to me but it wasnt for others, its still new

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

Thank you! Your submission has been received!
Oops! Something went wrong while submitting the form.

Want to chat or share? Download the Alike app now and get complete access to Alike.health's unique features.

Find people who are
experiencing a similar
medical reality

100% Free
100%
Free

Download Alike for the full experience

JOIN

View All

Bupropion

night sweats

paranoid

Valium

sertraline

palpitations

Anxiety (Including GAD)

Depression

palpitations

Depression

Valium

Bupropion