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_Robbie_

544d

I got into a sort of special ed class in school because I have severe anxiety and depression that interfere with. literally everything. Regular classes trigger all of this a lot. Ever since I got into this class, I've been more motivated and happy every day. But recently I told my parents and they don't like it. They don't want me to be in here. They tell me that I'm "avoiding/hiding" from my problems. And if I don't just do regular classes and face my problems and push through, I'm not going to be able to handle the world once I graduate, because I won't always have a "safe space". They said being happy every day doesn't really matter, getting stronger does. I told them that regular classes made me depressed and exhausted every day and asked them if they would rather that than me be in a special class, and they said yes. The problem is, "facing my problems" doesn't make it any better. It makes it worse. I get burnt out, I get depressed, I get hopeless, suicidal even. It has only ever gone downhill for my whole experience. I asked them if I should just let it happen that way and they said yes. I should just "deal with it and push through". So maybe I'm being weak and I should go back to regular classes and just be depressed every day.

Top reply
    • Ghost_Cat

      544d

      You're not being weak, you're dealing with the shitty hand life dealt you. It's wonderful that you have something to help you! Something a lot of neurotypical people don't understand is that "pushing through it" is a) often times impossible and b) not healthy at all. For us, what it REALLY means to push through it is to find healthy coping mechanisms so we can exist without all that extra pain. And that's exactly what you did. It's amazing that you have that option and I'm so glad you're taking advantage of it. School is already hard enough as it is, having something to make it easier on you since you're already having a hard time is wonderful. And guess what? In the real world, there will be options for you too. My mom said similar things to me, about how she worried I wouldn't be able to function in the real world. Currently in my second year of college and living on my own and I'm happier than I've ever been. It'll be okay, do the right thing for yourself and try not to worry about what others expect of you.

    • itsnotmefr

      544d

      I'm sorry that you're parents aren't understanding you about this :( but if regular classes aren't making you feel better, doing your ed class is still how you're working things out. it's good to adjust yourself, it'll help you succeed with your education while you also can work on your mental health. that's awesome, it shows to me and should to others too, that you're trying to do the best you can. I struggled so much during my last 2 years of high school because I wasn't getting the help I needed, I barely graduated. The school had straight up told me that they had no "resources" to help me and that I was being a threat to others, that I didn't want to cooperate. the whole time, everyday, I was having constant panic attacks that I had to leave class and missing homework.. nobody there was willing to help me except just transferring me to another school. I had to worry not just about failing my classes, but not even graduating on time or even being set back 2 years, plus the constant thought of me wanting to commit "scuba dive". I had to literally force myself and think about of the worst things that could happen, scaring myself to finish without any help and I did graduate... but at what cost? now I'm not on any meds, i still feel like poop, i can't leave the house without having a panic attack. They should understand that everyone operates differently and you finding a way to balance school and mental health is a perfect example, take that opportunity that your school is giving you !!! its not about being happy, it's the matter of fact of being able to STABILIZE yourself so that when you are "in the real world" you're able to push through, plus you can find manyyy awesome resources "in the real world" !! sorry to ramble but I kinda hope this helped, I wish you the best this school year. you can do this ♡

    • jam064

      544d

      "Pushing through your problems" looks different for everyone. Some people need extra tools to succeed, which is perfectly normal. Most places/jobs in the "real world" do have a safe space equivalency and places that don't are often (imo) pretty awful/sketchy places to work anyway. And if the plan after high school is college, you are by no means required to take a full load. You can take one or two a semester. It'll take longer, but you'll be able to take the time you need. Do what you need to do in order to succeed. No one else--not even your parents--can determine what that path is or what tools you need. I do agree with chihiro.sen, at least in the aspect of trying one or two regular classes (if that's an option). If you can do this, based on your school rules and, more importantly, how well you can handle it emotionally/mentally, it may help you adjust to other areas of life. And the middle ground could possibly help the issues with your parents. Just remember that, whatever you choose, it is your life. Your parents are not the ones taking the classes. They are not the ones feeling what you're feeling. They are not the ones dealing with the school system. They aren't the ones dealing with the classes, teachers, and other students. You are. It is YOUR LIFE, no one else's.

      • _Robbie_

        544d

        @jam064 Yeah, I went to criminal justice today and I think I'm gonna keep going. I think I'll also go to two or three other classes eventually and stay there. I've decided that whatever I can handle, I'll do, and that should be enough. It's gotta be, cuz it's the best I can do.

        • busy_bee

          544d

          @_Robbie_ your best is good enough! Don't be afraid to remind your parents of that, or ask "I'm doing my best, is my best not good enough? Because in life not everyone needs different things to get by." Maybe if they are still pushing back you could look into finding some scientific articles or books to help them understand. If you need help finding any, let me know!

    • chihiro.sen

      544d

      You're parents have your best interests in mind, but theyre not psyc professionals, they dont understand what you're going through. If you could just "face your problems" all at once and push through these things wouldnt be illnesses and disabilities. I think an ok medium would be to meet with a counselor and try to make a plan for sustainable progress. For example you can work on some coping strategies and consider trying one or two regular classes, in subjects you actually like or want to challenge yourself in. I had to do things slowly, and work on stuff one at a time, sometimes i would backslide when i tried to go too fast, but i got so better and am managing things pretty well. I hope they will be understanding and accept you progessing at a rate that works for you. If they arent, as many parents unfortunately are, I hope you don't let it defeat you. Sometimes parents dont know best, esp with older generations stigma around mental health, and lack of education. Just because theyre ideal doesnt work, doesnt mean you're hopeless. I believe you will be able to find stuff that works for you, and work towards what *you* want.

    • Ghost_Cat

      544d

      You're not being weak, you're dealing with the shitty hand life dealt you. It's wonderful that you have something to help you! Something a lot of neurotypical people don't understand is that "pushing through it" is a) often times impossible and b) not healthy at all. For us, what it REALLY means to push through it is to find healthy coping mechanisms so we can exist without all that extra pain. And that's exactly what you did. It's amazing that you have that option and I'm so glad you're taking advantage of it. School is already hard enough as it is, having something to make it easier on you since you're already having a hard time is wonderful. And guess what? In the real world, there will be options for you too. My mom said similar things to me, about how she worried I wouldn't be able to function in the real world. Currently in my second year of college and living on my own and I'm happier than I've ever been. It'll be okay, do the right thing for yourself and try not to worry about what others expect of you.

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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