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RatMom

328d

Everything is anxiety inducing, especially relationships. I don't know how to trust, and I always have doubt in my head about everyone. I work at a stadium, and this is my second year. Last year I made 0 friends because I felt anxious about their intentions and I also felt inadequate and kept second guessing myself if what I'm saying is okay or if it bothers them and so forth. It's really distressing because I really want friends, but I'm afraid. I've been trying to force myself to just communicate with people, which I do, but then I do something wrong such as forget to do something at work and someone reminds me and I just feel terrible and like they aren't gonna like me. It gets so overwhelming I just get completely quiet. I feel guilty about alot, almost all the time... Does anyone have any tips or recommendations for this??

Top reply
    • verasama

      264d

      I know that for me, my anxiety has helped a lot by journaling. I know it's not for everybody, but I find if I journal the things that make me anxious, they don't bother me quite so much. I'm also going to therapy three times a week, which seems to be helping a lot. That and finding an anxiety medicine that works for me. I get having a hard time trusting people, but if you can find just one person to talk to, I think it will help a lot. Also, I'll recommend a book that I've been reading that seems to have a lot of good advice in it. It's hardcore self-help: f**k anxiety. I haven't finished reading it yet, but so far what I've read has seemed to help some. I also found some stress less gummies to help with anxiety spikes, and I have some stress rescue lozenges that I keep in my bag, just in case. Those are all of the things I've been doing for my anxiety, and while most of them may not be the right fit for you, it can't hurt to try. I really do recommend therapy though. Specifically cognitive behavioral therapy, and journaling. If you can change the way you think about yourself, you can change your behaviors and make new friends. Also if you need to talk to anyone, feel free to message me anytime. I'm always happy to help.

    • verasama

      264d

      I know that for me, my anxiety has helped a lot by journaling. I know it's not for everybody, but I find if I journal the things that make me anxious, they don't bother me quite so much. I'm also going to therapy three times a week, which seems to be helping a lot. That and finding an anxiety medicine that works for me. I get having a hard time trusting people, but if you can find just one person to talk to, I think it will help a lot. Also, I'll recommend a book that I've been reading that seems to have a lot of good advice in it. It's hardcore self-help: f**k anxiety. I haven't finished reading it yet, but so far what I've read has seemed to help some. I also found some stress less gummies to help with anxiety spikes, and I have some stress rescue lozenges that I keep in my bag, just in case. Those are all of the things I've been doing for my anxiety, and while most of them may not be the right fit for you, it can't hurt to try. I really do recommend therapy though. Specifically cognitive behavioral therapy, and journaling. If you can change the way you think about yourself, you can change your behaviors and make new friends. Also if you need to talk to anyone, feel free to message me anytime. I'm always happy to help.

    • Alexandra7

      264d

      Guys I was very much like this. I had this odd people pleasing trait which to a high degree I still have but I started having more faith and respect within myself. We're very perceptive people especially as we pick up micro signals that something might be wrong. I started to realise that good people are good people and I will be loved and accepted by those who are meant to be in my life. Unfortunately I also believe alot of this is childhood trauma and neglect related and that was never our fault. We are awesome guys and fragile so remember that when forging relationships. I try to be upfront and honest about my quirks and it becomes more about my wants and needs in a person because my safety and security matters and so does yours. Go easy on yourself guys. There's nothing wrong with us 😘❤️🙏🏼

    • RatMom

      325d

      Thank you so much for this! You're totally right. I've been opening up slowly to people and been trying to work on my guilt... it'll take a bit with the guilt though cus that's something that's kinda be ingrained into me since childhood.

      • RatMom

        325d

        @RatMom been*

        • MilkJoey

          325d

          @RatMom of course! always take it easy. road to becoming better while also accepting yourself as you are for now are difficult roads to cross, but will be so worth it

    • MilkJoey

      328d

      i struggle a lot with trust even still and i understand never knowing anyone's intentions. maybe this is just how i am but i've always just been open to talking about myself. i've always thought "what's so awful that could come out of me that even if it did leak to someone else, at least i know that person isn't trustworthy and that's it." it for sure makes the trust worse with others but instead of believing that everyone is awful, think of everyone as neutral. they're neither good or bad. watch how they talk about others, watch how they express themselves to you, and look at how they talk to others as well. it'll usually tell you for the most part, the kind of person they are. being afraid of intimacy is something that you have work closer to by learning to open up to someone little by little. sometimes you just won't click with people and that's okay, try talking to people who are interested in convo and who share the same sense of humor as you, they're usually really nice people to talk to and it's a good stepping stone. everyone forgets about things in their work or personal life, think to yourself, "would i dislike someone in my work if they made a mistake or forgot to do something?" no! it's only human. truly try to be less hard on yourself and come to terms with the fact that neither you or others will ever be perfect. guilt is an awful feeling but also remind yourself that guilt is a feeling that does get easier with time. it has its ups and downs and you grow as a person every day. guilt could also be holding you back from creating good relationships. learn self forgiveness, you truly aren't as horrible as you think you are. you are your own worst enemy and you deserve to be treated with respect and kindess just like everyone else. just the fact that you strive to be better shows that you're already doing well. keep going!!

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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One suggestion for dealing with social anxiety is to have a comfort item or take breaks when feeling overwhelmed, even if it's just standing in a bathroom to breathe for a moment. Another idea is to try some breathing techniques when you catch yourself feeling anxious in social settings. Having a rubber band on your finger or wrist that you can snap when feeling anxious can also serve as a fidget and distraction mechanism. Remember, you're not alone in experiencing these feelings, and being aware of your anxiety is an important first step.

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