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abyssal

788d

does anyone else have the beautiful social anxiety and abandonment issue cocktail? it’s so hard for me to make relationships and keep them

Top reply
    • Audie__

      779d

      That last bit really hit and meant a lot thank you

    • Audie__

      779d

      That last bit really hit and meant a lot thank you

    • Twinkles

      783d

      YES, it’s crazy. It might be good or interesting for you to look up Attachment Style Quiz on Google and pick the five min one on the attachmentstyle website. That cocktail sounds similar to disorganized attachment (aka anxious-avoidant) which means you truly want relationships with people but you avoid them out of fear of abandonment, rejection, or something along those lines. I have disorganized attachment. It could be cool for you to look into because it could give you some clarity on how to manage and work on that mindset we have. 😵‍💫 just know, feelings are just feelings, thoughts are just thoughts, neither represent reality. Mind reading or assuming ones motives is something that can stem from over estimating the probability that any negative thing they do has to do with you; we are no more probable a cause than a multitude of other factors (in which we don’t know all of) in their lives as well. (This doesn’t mean they don’t care about you lol).

    • Audie__

      785d

      Yeah I agree it’s hard to feel like you have to ‘restart’ with new people. I hold those who I feel most comfortable with so close that I worry about losing them which can be very exhausting

    • Csrunlpfsrgbloszbn

      786d

      I do, which is exactly why once I finally let somebody in I cling so hard and never want anybody else to fill that position. It’s so hard to get to that point in the first place. I would rather break myself for someone toxic just because I’m comfortable around them, than restart with anybody new and am wondering if you feel similar or different?

    • Audie__

      786d

      I can relate to this to some level I think. My anxiety always leaves my mind to wonder and make up scenarios of what if this or what if that… it’s very frustrating and has left me feeling as if I rely on people too much. I always assume the worst if I don’t hear from someone I care about. Like I think they don’t like me or want to talk to me and it’s very upsetting but I don’t know how to communicate my struggles with people that I experience this with

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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