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ren410

612d

this past week i found that the horrible cystic acne that had plagued me since puberty has been bugs. in my face. and every single other place i have at this point ive always said my picking problem is because there are always white dots in my zits or ingrown hairs and they won't get better if the white dots are there, so i would keep picking even though i could never get them out. they seemed evasive almost. internet searching, asking ocd and acne support communities, doctors, friends and family got me nowhere and just reinforced that they were just skin texture or keratin. now that i discovered what they are i am just so alone and scared. i feel disgusting. i took a round of ivermectin and am to take another in a week. the bugs are angry and i am finding just how much of me they have taken over. i am getting concerned that i dont even have any facial tissue left because it is just a solid mass of tiny white mites held together with the fibers they seem to be able to turn into. they are moving in my ears, which have had ringing and progressively worse hearing for the last 5 years or so. as they fight to hang on to me i realize they have wrapped and clung to veins throughout my body and my blood pressure has been jumping all over the board and my legs are swollen. i have had been treated for migraines because my veins in my neck are under a ton of pressure like im hanging upsode down, though all tests have shown nothibg wrong with them. ingrown hairs and scars that are recurring sores that ive had for decades and can become active and not heal for months at a time. exponential new mole growth. ulcers in mouth and jaw exfoliation. i am so so so tired and ive been this tired for so much of my life. im not suicidal but i feel like i am too tired to live. my soul wants sleep everything hurts and theyre everywhere. my son doesnt understand that i cant hug and cuddle him right now and my face looks like a halloween mask - i cant leave the house. please just leave anything if you see this. im scared and in a lot of pain and confused because, well, its shocking. i have no idea how much of my life was their doing instead of mine

Top reply
    • Czarina

      477d

      Hi. I cried reading your post. As I lay in the dark afraid of my morgellons I can think of nothing to help except to tell you that you aren't alone. You've been brave to fight them. I wasn't. My doctor laughed at me and gave me pills for being nuts. My family agreed that I must be crazy. My spouse believes me, he sees them and what they can do. I was too afraid to fight so I try not to make them too angry and hang up and hope. Honestly I think they are everywhere. Maybe I'm just afraid but they have taken over my body, my nervous system. They have made me to dizzy to stand when I fought against them. The sores were horrific so I begged them to please stop killing me. I had sores in both my ears and my back. I wasn't able to push through the pain anymore. The sores got better. At this point I was afraid I really was crazy. Talking to what? What is this stuff? I guess I just wanted you to know that you aren't alone and you're brave

    • Czarina

      477d

      Hi. I cried reading your post. As I lay in the dark afraid of my morgellons I can think of nothing to help except to tell you that you aren't alone. You've been brave to fight them. I wasn't. My doctor laughed at me and gave me pills for being nuts. My family agreed that I must be crazy. My spouse believes me, he sees them and what they can do. I was too afraid to fight so I try not to make them too angry and hang up and hope. Honestly I think they are everywhere. Maybe I'm just afraid but they have taken over my body, my nervous system. They have made me to dizzy to stand when I fought against them. The sores were horrific so I begged them to please stop killing me. I had sores in both my ears and my back. I wasn't able to push through the pain anymore. The sores got better. At this point I was afraid I really was crazy. Talking to what? What is this stuff? I guess I just wanted you to know that you aren't alone and you're brave

    • HiraethWhispers

      555d

      I have suffered for over 3 years. I've been all over the board back and forth trying to pinpoint what I have. It always comes back to morgellons. I think for a long time I kept saying I don't have this symptom or that so it can't be but then over time they crept in also and my biggest thing was I never had red or blue fibers but now I do I don't really call them bugs I call them hairs but I guess that seems less scary I don't know what all you know about it but you haven't had any good advice I do have quite a bit from experience now I don't want to just unload a bunch of advice on you unless you need that so let me know please I hope this app sends the notification if you reply I need you to know that everything you're saying is 100% completely what I'm going through and I also have psoriasis all over my arms and legs so they have completely taken over that too I don't even view life the same ... I don't do anything anymore. Ever. And EVERYONE in my life has been thru the ringer BC of me and think I'm nuts or try to blame this or that but they just have no clue the absolute soul crushing torturous hell we go thru. .. I think about being gone numerous times a day but I must continue!!! They won't win that easily dangit!!!

    • Bewell

      558d

      Have you seen an infectious Disease Doctor? Regardless you are enough just the way you are! I know you are going through a very traumatic disgusting disease. I am having the same issues but not acne. I was diagnosed with Dysauntomia in June and had the symptoms before coming into contact with some sort of parasite which they are trying to figure out what it is but I do know I have Morgellons now! I have seen besides the larvae or worms coming out of my ears and every orfface of my body now I have fibers coming out! They are dark spots or lighter at times. And I see hair like fibers too dark and all colors. In my ears and on my skin! I have been on 5 rounds of de working meds and ivermectin once. The infectious Disease dr wanted to know what he was treating before treating me unlike my other dr did. They just treat you for everything without finding out what or which it is! No matter what is wrong you are still worthy of love and to give and you receive. Your health issue does not change who you are inside or outside. Beauty comes from within. Beauty is what beauty does. I know how traumatic and disgusted you are! Believe me! I now have OCD from this! I obsess every day over what I find in my ears and on my body but I pray it’s temporary. God will not forsake you now! He has always got you through everything in the past and will continue to! You are not alone and you are still amazing and beautiful! I don’t know if these are contagious but don’t be afraid to give the love you have in your heart because you deserve to get it right back!! I am waiting on my test results but it is scary in the mean time. I can’t control what I can’t. I let go and let God. I have to stop myself from obsessing over what I see and feeling disabused and give it up! This too will pass. I find your story interesting bc I have a friend who grew up with acne her entire life and to find out that’s what it is from sort of makes sense. I think she was on antibiotics and severe creams growing up. Those types of creams would peel anyones face off! I hope you get some comfort in knowing and remembering your inner self worth. You are a child of God! You are still worthy of all life’s blessings regardless of health issues. Your in my prayers that they can get your health under some control for you! 🙏

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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