Should We Stay Together After Trauma?

I am violent and I don't think I deserve a chance at love or life. i'm afraid that my boyfriend of 7 years and I aren't healthy for each other. He has Autism and Bipolar, I ha e depression and anxiety. very rarely I would get destructive and we've fought. This is so shameful. I'm not powerful enough to make decisions on my own. I feel like we have to break up because other people are telling us to. But we really really want to give love another try is it worth it if we're both willing to get the help we need? or should we just call it quits after all of this trauma?

Your answer

RichWalk

2y ago

If it's trauma, the two of you should stop dating & be just friends. Find a way to communicate in words (and not fists or sexual violence). There's blunt force trauma & sharp force trauma.

flowergirlll

2y ago

its clear both of you need to work on yourselves. you cant be in a happy relationship unless both of you are happy and really ready for one. i do think you should do what you feel is right in continuing this relationship - but i would have both of you get help seperate from eachother so you can focus on yourselves out of a relationship

Rhel

2y ago

Honestly this sounds pretty toxic and abusive for both of you. And it’s hard enough for one person to work on their stuff, let alone two. Bipolar also needs to be medicated and go through therapy - I had a relationship about this long with an abuser/toxic boyfriend in my 20s and I understand the sunk cost fallacy. But you should probably focus on yourself and making yourself happy.

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