Sharing Our Health Journeys: Let's Hear Yours!

Hi. I was diagnosed with anxiety in 2nd grade but my mom fired the doctor from my care team and instead told me to smile and go to school. 🙄 I got to graduate school and realized I was drinking before lunch in order to deal with my anxiety from school. I started treatment in 2012 for anxiety and started finding better coping mechanisms. Then in 2014 my dad suddenly and tragically passed. It trigged severe depression and anxiety that completely changed my life, personality, and self-confidence. I had previously been a very independent person. I was strong willed and boneheaded. Since dad died I’ve been weak. I’ve been bitter and scared. I feel empty and lost. I quickly got married to my high school sweetheart after dad passed. I think it was a way to feel stability again. We are since divorced. From 2015-2019 I had a string of bad health. Developed IBS. Got my high blood pressure under control, but developed issues with my heart rate fluctuating up and down. Had several illnesses like meningitis, C-Diff, and other acute issues. I left my husband in 2019 after we had personal issues that triggered more C-PTSD. At that point I had a solid PTSD diagnosis and I was able to understand I needed to leave the relationship to heal. I survived the divorce, even though we were hyper codependent and I didn’t realize how bad it was until we divorced. This year I have completely crumbled. Since the divorce I lost my dream job and had to move in with my new boyfriend. We don’t always get along and he doesn’t understand my challenges. 2022 has been the worst year for me. I feel completely unhinged. I’m taking my medicine, seeking therapy, working on coping mechanisms, etc. but I’m also trying to work through my trauma and find myself. I think the work it takes to get better is sometimes the hardest part of the journey. Or at least, I’m hoping it is. Because I need relief from this pain more than anything. 😥

I developed great coping skills, and not so healthy ones, without therapy. I was already fascinated with psychology at a young age. I stayed in relationships that were a reflection of my self worth, it went up and down.. I struggled with CPTSD and symptoms my entire life, but knew how to hide it well, my body eventually caught up with me, and my struggles worsened some years. The karma in my life is good, I am an empath that hates the world, but god do I think this Universe is fascinating. Curiousity has kept me alive, doctors, friends and family. I am forever thankful to the people who have supported me. I hit a milestone recently, after leaving the hospital from a crisis moment.. my life foundations fell apart within two weeks. I am thankful for the experience, I had the right coping skills, I just never got a Psychologist and medication to ease the hidden suffering of my daily life. Its difficult for me to need or want help, but I gave in and told myself "Its my turn to be taken care of." And damn did it feel good. I gave myself away to others, expecting the same, lacking boundries but no more. Advice: I believe if you surround yourself with others who suffer like you do, it'll create new friendships and healing in ways you never expected. I reccomend group therapy for anyone struggling with the pains of the human experience.. Find a local class to attend, once a week. Find community, even if your brain wants to constantly seclude you when you don't feel your best. Life has its ebbs and flows, ride the waves with intention to create a boat, instead of trying to keep your head above the water. 💕