Sexual frustration after years of being together

I'm not really looking for advice, I just need to vent. NSFW topic so after 7 years of being together, the sex is shit. I've tried talking to my husband about it, suggesting things I like, expressing that I'm not satisfied, and ital like he doesn't care, I know he does, and I know he wants to do more, but with his physical injuries it's just difficult. he has back and hip issues, is a bit overweight, and has severe nerve damage in a few places though out his body, so it's not like he's just being lazy, but the frustrating part is that the things he CAN do he chooses not to, I haven't had a "big O" with my husband in months, and I'm trying to do things on my part to make sure we both get there, but it's just not working. I finally got frustrated enough last time and just said "fuck it" and took a shower and went to lay down in the other room because the only time he does "extra stuff" is when I get upset, and my argument to his frustration was "it shouldn't take me getting upset for you to do that". and before anyone says it's difficult for him, it's something I know for a fact he can do without any difficulty, we've talked about it before. I'm just tired of being a living Fleshlight, I want to actually have these experiences with my husband and mutually enjoy them, sex is very important to me and I just feel like our already limited sex life is just dead for me. he still turn me on, and I'm still very much attracted to him, I'm just frustrated.