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SoxyWoxy

421d

I don't know how to explain to my best friend that I can't be there like they want me to every time they want it. they aren't wanting help for themselves mentally, they just want me to do things and sometimes I'm just not there enough.

Top reply
    • Eren2273

      421d

      @Skylarkbard I agree! Something like that might help them understand. But I also want to add that even if the poster wasn't in a bad place, they still wouldn't have to do that and they should clarify that to their friend too.

    • SecondChance

      421d

      Sorry you're going through that.

    • betsybetsybetsy2021

      421d

      I hear you. I live with someone who refuses help from everyone including me. They talk about what they want in the future but have no concept of what it takes to get there or that it requires change on their part. If their rock bottom doesn't require change, they can continue on forever. It really is an impossible person to help because they don't want to change and they think everything is fine. I went to therapy for years; I do Zoom meetings in front of them which never ask for your ID or even verify your real name. This person thinks everyone else needs to change to suit them. I was told not to fart while they were eating. This was a tiny little toot that escaped because I have digestive issues which I have told them before and they do not appear to have memory issues. I am sorry if your friend is also resistant to change. Be there when you can, but don't stress. The fact that you worry means you are a good friend for caring. Don't hesitate to set boundaries.

    • Skylarkbard

      421d

      "You wouldn't ask me to do this on a broken leg, so please respect that I can't do it in mu current state, either." If you think they'd listen, might be worth explaining the spoon theory

      • Eren2273

        421d

        @Skylarkbard I agree! Something like that might help them understand. But I also want to add that even if the poster wasn't in a bad place, they still wouldn't have to do that and they should clarify that to their friend too.

    • Eren2273

      421d

      You have no obligation to be there for them like that. Constantly being there for someone and practically being responsible for their mental well-being is extremely damaging to your own mental health. If your friend can't accept that your own health and time is important too, it's time to stop being friends with them and find friends who actually respect you.

    • Phy201

      421d

      I'm my experience, you can't be responsible for another person's mental health, even if you were completely healthy and able bodied. If someone isn't willing to help their own situation/ mental health, you can't do anything much more than put a bandaid on the problem.

      • SoxyWoxy

        421d

        @Phy201 that isn't the problem. They want me to do things that I am just not mentally able to do

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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