Struggling with Self-Hate and Anxiety

That is really tough. I have definitely been there before and it stinks. It really helped me to try to see my worth as dependent on other things. Faith has really helped me do that because I see my worth as coming from being loved by Jesus which will never change. If you can know you are worthy because you are a person and people are worthy of love and grace, that might help. Not advocating that you become religious if you aren't but that's what helped me. Also, Propranolol can really help tremors (that's what I take it for). Also, I agree with HarryPotter suicide just spreads the pain.

With tremors from anxiety, I found that Propranolol helps a ton! I suggest you reach out to your doctor and ask about it, it's great and doesn't come with any major side effects!

I am so sorry you are going through this. :/ That sounds so tough! Have you ever considered a psychological assessment to further look into your struggle with focusing/learning material? In my place of work I have met a few people who have sought out an assessment for similar reasons and it brings them so much comfort learning there is something more to what they are experiencing. Here is a link to a questionnaire some have found helpful. I hope you are able to feel better soon! https://embrace-autism.com/cat-q/

😥I understand how your feeling I’m feeling the same way

I understand this feeling. I’m really sorry you are feeling like this. I know it sucks. A few things that have helped me are surrounding myself with positive people who lift me up, taking care of my body, meditation, realising that this body is merely a temporary shell for us to experience human life. How we look has nothing to do with our worth. Try not to be so hard on yourself, if you find yourself talking negatively towards yourself just take a deep breath and try to change your thoughts. Everything we speak and think creates energy, the more we think and speak positive things the greater that energy builds, same goes for negative things. It is fully possible to learn how to love yourself. Be your best friend. You are beautiful, you got this. <3

I am going through a similar time where I am starting to see things that I don't like about myself. All I can say is try to find someone that helps you feel like a someone and someone that cares for you honestly. I know not everyone has the ability to find a person like this but I hope it all works out in the end. Also please don't think I am saying you are on this path I just know I am but sucide does not take away the pain it gives it to someone else.