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529d

CW: discussion of self-harm, proceed with caution and stay safe A close friend of mine, we’ll call her Leaf, recently either began cutting or relapsed cutting. I know we’re both adults, we’re in college now. I am just really lost and confused as to where to turn for help. Is this something I report? Who would I even report it to? I can’t expect her to want to talk about it, but should I be waiting for her to come to me with it? If it were you, what would you wanna hear? I’m really stuck on this.

Top reply
    • GrumpyWaffle

      528d

      I've been SH'ing for 15+ years. Most people don't know. Those that do know, don't understand why or how to help. But for the first time ever, I met someone who doesn't shy away from the topic and it's been sooo flippin nice. Sometimes I do just wanna talk about it. Know that someone is concerned but that they're aren't going to overreact. I can tell him when I have urges. He makes helpful suggestions or just listens to whatever is bothering me at the time. When I do cut, he checks in to ask how much and how bad. I've never had someone like that. SH, in general, is extremely isolating. The hiding and shame involved really takes a toll. So, yes, be concerned but maybe try letting your friend know you're there for her, above all and no matter what.

    • Denotchka

      528d

      Only if the cutting is a suicide attempt. But cutting has an occultic background. You may not be doing it ritualistically, but it can be overkill as well. No judgment, just giving more information. Praying for both of you. 🙏🏻

    • dodge

      528d

      all you need to let her know is that you’re there to talk and listen, as a past SH’er (1 year clean) i really needed people to talk to me and just tell me they’re there. since because of past trauma it may be hard to trust people but all you need to do is listen and present a safe space for her to be in. that’s what i needed and unfortunately never got it , but i really hope this helps other people. as i’m genuinely sad i went there in my mind and i’m sad that other people go to SH but it’s understandable, but it’s not safe , so just make sure you check up on her regularly

    • GrumpyWaffle

      528d

      I've been SH'ing for 15+ years. Most people don't know. Those that do know, don't understand why or how to help. But for the first time ever, I met someone who doesn't shy away from the topic and it's been sooo flippin nice. Sometimes I do just wanna talk about it. Know that someone is concerned but that they're aren't going to overreact. I can tell him when I have urges. He makes helpful suggestions or just listens to whatever is bothering me at the time. When I do cut, he checks in to ask how much and how bad. I've never had someone like that. SH, in general, is extremely isolating. The hiding and shame involved really takes a toll. So, yes, be concerned but maybe try letting your friend know you're there for her, above all and no matter what.

    • Skyfire

      528d

      Hi ✋ I struggles with SH for many years and nobody ever wanted to talk to me directly about it cause they were scared I was gonna freak out but really that would have been really nice to have my friends say "hey I see you, I love you, and I'm here for you if you need to talk" sometimes we just feel like nobody cares about us and honestly just having a distraction and a person to vent to would have really helped me to hear those things. I had only found out my friends were talking amongst themselves trying to stage an intervention for me but decided not to cause I stopped letting me cuts show and they thought I felt better.

    • kk062001

      529d

      as someone who spent year SH’ing, I would always hope that someone would talk w me and help me understand what hurt then, isn’t going to hurt forever. sending her a text every once in awhile, just to let her know u care ab her and you wanna hang out is sufficient. make sure you follow through on that! something stimulating. my SH behavior quickly turned into suicide attempts. just make sure she knows you’re there. you can bring up her mental health, but don’t force the topic. ofc if you feel she’s in immediate danger, a hotline helps get her help, 911 is always there. RA’s or the counseling center at the college can help her get help as well!

    • LotusFlower

      529d

      Hi hun. I think you should have a girls night in. Listen to music, with some snacks, and have some paint and journals, just to like help her relax, and then let her know that you're worried about her. Ease her and remind her that she has support, she has you. She's not alone. That's what my sister and I would do for one another. Just try to help her open up to you to help her figure out what triggered her to relapse. I hope this helps.

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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