Feeling like everything is my fault

Recently I have felt like a lot of recent events are my fault. I'll summarize best I can. So: my grandma gifted me a house so that I could finish college (I only paid bills, no rent.) I understand that I was extremely lucky. But I realize that I should have turned it down. it was constantly being held over my head. I was in such a bad mental state the whole time there. this caused me to fail, which got me kicked out of the house. I honestly don't know how to feel. I even got my cat and bf involved. I know I had it good but I still fvck3d it up.