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Faerie420

828d

Is anyone else in a relationship and finding it hard to give or receive comfort or affection? I feel like I'm trapped between a state of dissociation and severe anxiety at all times and my partner has stated multiple times that he doesn't feel loved and it makes me feel so guilty.

Top reply
    • squiggly

      828d

      I feel like I'm in the same boat as you are. I met my boyfriend at work and he's never judged me from my past or anything. But we haven't connected yet and it's going on 10 months. He's a really good genuine guy but for a while it was like my gut was telling me to stay and that he really does care for me but then my heart hasn't really caught feelings yet.... like I don't understand why I'm having a hard time opening up to him

    • squiggly

      828d

      I feel like I'm in the same boat as you are. I met my boyfriend at work and he's never judged me from my past or anything. But we haven't connected yet and it's going on 10 months. He's a really good genuine guy but for a while it was like my gut was telling me to stay and that he really does care for me but then my heart hasn't really caught feelings yet.... like I don't understand why I'm having a hard time opening up to him

    • Speedbump

      828d

      I was in a relationship similar to this situation for about 5 years. It didn’t end because of this fact but it was really difficult. Communication really is key, even though that sounds cliché.

    • Chesbro99

      828d

      I don't struggle with the dissociation, but I struggle with the anxiety and being in the moment. I find myself wanting more comfort then I give sometimes. I also don't think I'm giving the comfort when he wants it... It makes me feel really guilty too. I understand that part for sure. I've just had to force myself to start doing things for him. Pick whatever is easiest for you. Like rubbing his back or giving a compliment, whatever is easy and just try and do it once a day at least. Start saying to yourself I want them to be happy over and over again until it becomes more real in your head. Not that you don't already, but more too make your brain start giving them more priority. It took a few months before all these things really started to work and help. But even now things aren't perfect. I'm still not giving exactly what he wants. I'm still not great at it. But it's getting better... Takes a lot of time and relearning how to trust and love after being hurt so much.... I'm here if you wanna talk more

    • Messymexi

      828d

      My husband's love language is touch and cuddling. However, I get horrible flashbacks to a previous relationship where I was often held down. So I rarely cuddle or touch him. He knows this and understands and I try my best to cuddle for as long as I'm comfortable and try to meet halfway

    • suki

      828d

      Yeah... Honestly I just got out of a relationship that was like that... I wish I could help you with it because I understand where you're coming from, but I'm still having trouble with that myself. Did you try to communicate with him about it?

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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