I'm so sorry you're struggling. It is hard hard work staying sober.

Make a change is hard don't put so much judgment on yourself just think about all the time you didn't smoke and know you can do that and so much more! The point isn't your small hiccups but the huge effort you put in to that success of a month you can make it a month and a day next time!

I'm right there with you. I couldn't smoke after surgery because I was in a nursing center. I had every intention to not pick it back up but that lasted all of 30 minutes when I got home. I am like you, it takes the edge off when I'm stressed. I don't drink or take drugs either. Now that we are facing being homeless & my husband lost his job in fighting not to smoke more. I don't allow myself to have more than 1 every 2 hours. It is hard but my chest hurts if I smoke more than that

It is an addiction, that is something that's hard to beat. Stopping for a month is amazing and hard