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Chicken_Sandwich

211d

Do you guys ever feel like some red flags are overrated in a relationship? Some red flags include not having any friends, talking badly about past toxic partners, and hyper-fixating on the person you’re in love with. I feel like this would give neurotypicals an additional unfair advantage in relationships. Shouldn’t it also be considered toxic to view autistic traits as toxic?

Top reply
    • JoranTal

      211d

      I’m autistic and a counselor in training. In my opinion it’s in the nuance of those complaints. Not having any friends- are they happy? Are they able to be by themselves and be ohkay? Or are they isolating to a point of detriment to mental health? Talking badly about toxic ex-partners: are they using it to explain a boundary or a trigger? Or are they hyperfixated on their negative experience that they are comparing the current relationship to that one? Hyper-fixating on the person you’re in love with: this one I’m very particular about. I’m Autistic and clingy, my partner is ADHD and clingy. I like it. I hyperfixated on him sometimes and the other way around. However, hyperfixations are supposed to come and go. Is the partner the only thing they focus on? The only thing they care about? Do they have no other interests or people and so the only thing in their life is their partner so they only option of something to focus on is the partner? There are nuances in the situation and I think that context is important.

    • GamerSandy

      211d

      It depends on the situation and the person. I do tend to believe people when they show me who they are and when they are overly negative I cannot handle it emotionally. I feel too deeply to hear about thier constant internal suffering.

    • JoranTal

      211d

      I’m autistic and a counselor in training. In my opinion it’s in the nuance of those complaints. Not having any friends- are they happy? Are they able to be by themselves and be ohkay? Or are they isolating to a point of detriment to mental health? Talking badly about toxic ex-partners: are they using it to explain a boundary or a trigger? Or are they hyperfixated on their negative experience that they are comparing the current relationship to that one? Hyper-fixating on the person you’re in love with: this one I’m very particular about. I’m Autistic and clingy, my partner is ADHD and clingy. I like it. I hyperfixated on him sometimes and the other way around. However, hyperfixations are supposed to come and go. Is the partner the only thing they focus on? The only thing they care about? Do they have no other interests or people and so the only thing in their life is their partner so they only option of something to focus on is the partner? There are nuances in the situation and I think that context is important.

    • Ash.G

      211d

      I think so.

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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