Realizing My Abnormality: A Journey to Mental Health

4th grade. I went from a seemingly happy go lucky kid to covering myself with layers of clothes, always looking down at the ground with hair covering my face. Super anxious around people. And everytime I got close try to crying I would start laughing hysterically, fucking weird looking back.

I was in elementary school, and often times I would have an emotional breakdown when my mom woke me up in the morning cause I was so tired. So many days of me begging to let me sleep just a little more, even though I know I wouldn't do anything. Also just being picked on a lot :/ sensory issues suck, especially when the people around you don't care and think you're trying to be annoying on purpose. Headphones are my savior ♥️

Depends on the diagnosis. Growing up, I just felt abnormal about how I handled social situations. Being diagnosed with Autism made that make sense. Later on, I realized my intense emotions and intense mood swings felt abnormal (I could go from trying to kill myself and hating everything to feeling like everything was perfect and I loved life within hours) which while everyone thought it meant it was fake.. it's truely how my emotions were. Among many other things, but BPD ended up making it all make sense. Sometimes it was just a gut feeling, that things were wrong with me before I began to actually think about it.