Realizing I'm Autistic: My Journey

the fourth person that week to ask me if I was autistic tipped me off lol. my partner sending me a thousand articles that felt like reading my biography really sealed the deal for me. I was 19 at the time, it's been four years since then and it's been wild the whole time

I realized that all the times I've been overstimulated and overwhelmed by what seemed like little things to neurological people was just my asd, and for the longest time because I have to go through medical stuff through the military, I wasn't taken seriously, and was often undermined and pushed aside.

I won’t say “realized” bc that’s a strong use of the word, but my set mm off into a year of turmoil moment. I was reading my like 10th ADHD versus autism venn diagram and they were making me really illogically mad. I was trying to think through why it was upsetting me so and I came up with “they keep putting my ADHD experience on the autistic side. They’re completely undermining so much of the struggle I’ve had my whole life. I also don’t really understand social cues. I have trouble recognizing tone. I have really bad sensory issues. But —“ then I had a pause in my brain. And it was memorable bc my brain does not pause a lot. Then one brave voice went “maybe you’re just autistic” which sent the other 9,999 into an absolute frenzy. That one voice was right. Took another year and an official diagnosis to actually get there.

never understanding how in elementary my classmates wanted to hangout and didn’t see it as a weird social ritual to make people like you

i started crying when anyone would yell or two people would try to talk to me at once. was especially a shock for everyone and myself when i got comfortable with a friend group and started unmasking a bit.

I cried because my body felt like a shaken up soda with pricklys in it ( in hindsight I was over-stimulated) but I told my friends and no one could relate, I didn't know it was autism atm but I knew I wasn't nuerotypical