I'm seeing alot of people saying that they're currently having psychosis on here. I have experienced delusional psychotic episodes and not once have I ever been concious that I was having them. Is this another type of psychosis that you can be aware of?


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  • zellarius


    psychosis can fluctuate in severity, it's not always like a lightswitch, either on or off. it is possible to be aware, especially when it's mild and long term.

  • AnimalBoy


    It's not really different types as much as it is different severity and experiences and ability to cope. I'm someone who prides themselves for being frequently aware of my psychosis but I still have episodes that I'm not aware of. For example my main delusion is that I'm dreaming and no one else exists, it's something I genuinely believe in most cases and if I'm alone I'm not concious of the delusion but my ex and little cousin both used to enjoy egging that on thinking it was funny, not realizing what it was actually doing to me, and frequently while interacting with them in person while they're doing that made it so I would go into that delusion only semi believing it and being overtly critical of what they say because I know how much they like screwing with me. I also have a few hallucinations that I don't realize are hallucinations or typically give a second thought because they are normal things I experience(d) regularly like shadows moving around a corner that could easily be someone I live with or a little mouse running across the kitchen which wouldn't be a huge stretch. Most of the time I don't notice these things unless something is obviously wrong with the hallucination, like if I see the shadow while home alone or in the wrong direction of a light source or if the little mouse runs directly into a hole free wall and vanishes but that all requires me to be paying enough attention which is rare. However this will escalate and turn into quite a few other hallucinations that just are Noticeably Not Real or I learned weren't real using the coping mechanisms I learned in therapy, many of them involving large or gory people/monsters watching me which often just works as a jump scare before I reason out that giant centipede monsters don't exist or that my dog isn't reacting to this large badly injured man standing next to him so he's not actually there or taking a picture or taking off my glasses to see if it remains there in the photo or in clear focus amongst my blurry vision. Trauma hallucinations have been fairly predictable and straightforward or repetitive, one of mine is the taste of a specific soap that I purposely don't use anymore and it makes it so I can identify the hallucination immediately. I've also found that, for me anyways, it can be situationally dependent and my memories and sense of reality are effected much more under environmental circumstances. As far as I can tell my two worst psychotic episodes were caused by a prescription drug side effect and severe sleep deprivation. With the first I took one of my prescriptions in combination with a cough medication or something and the combination caused me to spiral, according to those around I had been rambling nonsense words and when my partner at the time came over to check on me I pushed her and ran out, the only thing I remember from the situation was being very agitated about music that in hindsight must have been a hallucination and waking up in the grass at a park a mile away from home. No one else could tell what I was so upset about either so I have no idea what the delusion even was aside from the music. The second happened at school, I had gotten 2 hours total of sleep in a week and some change and was hallucinating bugs, mostly grasshoppers which I identified as hallucinations early on, but by the time I got to fifth period I felt wired in a bad way that I could feel my sense of reality slipping and just wanted to go home, the last thing I remember is trying to ask to go to the nurse and being told to wait a minute and go with an escort, I wasn't steady and the nurse was down a flight of stairs so the teacher was sending one of the special ed Aids with me since they had an elevator key. I began to convince myself that, despite my school being notoriously windowless especially in classrooms, my teacher had left her "window" open and that wasps were slowly wandering in. According to my classmates and an incident report I sat back down and waited patiently for all of 5 minutes while this delusion built then I started rambling about wasps, pointed at a blank spot on the wall, said something about seeing them coming, and quickly walked out of the class only to be found 10 minutes later across campus trying desperately to hide in a cabinet in an empty and locked room still talking about the wasps.

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