Struggling with Post-Op Recovery and a Trauma Bond

I'm 4 days post op from my tubal ligation, endometriosis growth removal and placement of an IUD. I have been doing everything on my own because the guy I've been with for 5 years sleeps all day and plays video games all night. I'm frustrated, I feel completely alone. Am I wrong for asking him to help me, I take care of him and his son whenever necessary even being immunocompromised. I'm frustrated 🥴 and currently realizing that I'm in a trauma bond and he doesn't care about me, he has already asked me when I can have sex again, and when I can do laundry. I did these surgeries for myself, for my desires in life. I feel like this is the last straw for me. He even threw a fit when I asked him to help prepare a safe food that is a comfort food. It makes me feel sad. thanks for listening.

Your answer

Mandee

1y ago

I’m so sorry you are going through this. Your story sounds very familiar to me. No, you aren’t wrong for asking for help. I’d argued that you shouldn’t have had to ask, but since you had to, no it’s not wrong. He’s a grown up and needs to take responsibility for himself and his child at the very least while the other parent is recovering. Take care.

MagickalRebel

1y ago

The hardest part is the kid isn't even mine, and my parenting isn't treated as a parent but more like a nagging inconvenience unless I'm proving meals, gas money or paying for activities. And he is a grown man, and he just says how he's a shitty person and that is like his excuse and reasoning and I just have to accept it. He's supposed to be starting a job for the first time in a couple of years and he's not even on the right sleep schedule. 😥 I'm frustrated, I'm tired and feel defeated. I'm working through books on trauma bonds and Codependency to break the cycle and honestly make my leave of the relationship once and for all.

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