Struggling with PCOS and feeling like a man

ive completely lost it. “it” being my whole self awareness, being, confidence, motivation, everything. i never ever get my period and that alone makes me feel so out of the mix. i want kids so badly one day and the fact i learned recently i have pcos and cant exactly have them without hard work or meds since i dont ovulate has always hurt me, but its been hurting me more than ever lately. my doctor put me on the depo since im in school and dont exactly wanna get pregnant RIGHT now.. why is there only 2 paths? no kids - depo. kids - pills. why cant i have more options????? i feel so stuck. i dont feel like myself. i dont feel like a beautiful woman. i grow a beard and mustache for christ sake. all i want is to feel normal. i just wanna bleed once a month. i want to have self care again but im so broke and so drained i cant even make myself priority. and then my doctor wants to tell me the only cure to pcos is if i “lost weight”. :’) girl, i am so stressed. im a full time college student going toward a veterinary nursing degree. i can hardly even find time to eat let alone make it super healthy and work out. im not like other people. i have to carefully divide my energy each day otherwise i get so drained and have a mental breakdown. i cant really work while i go to school because of the stress levels i face mentally and my low battery. i feel like an old phone that no matter how many times you charge it, i die within an hour. i cant do this anymore. i usually always take care of myself (ex: hair salon, nails, waxing, etc) but i havent been able to make myself priority. all of that always makes me feel better about the whole pcos thing. god dammit i feel like an actual man. i dont even feel like a woman anymore. this is so damaging on my confidence and outlook for each day. i cant do it anymore. i never have the energy to cry and due to my mental illnesses I NEVER DO. but i am so exhausted, i did start to cry today out of pure frustration. why cant i be normal?? im not doing the depo anymore. if anyone would like to pump estrogen in me daily id love that thank you haha.