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Anon98

706d

Y'all ever get so overstimulated and overwhelmed that you just get into this really confrontational mood? Like even the sound of someone breathing wrong is enough to set you off? If so what do you guys do to keep from lashing out at the people around you for no reason?

Top reply
    • Scrungly

      703d

      Headphones. An absolute lifesaver.

    • Scrungly

      703d

      Headphones. An absolute lifesaver.

    • luna1572

      703d

      I do my own personal spa day, take a nice hot bubble bath with candles and soothing music

    • Airyfire812

      703d

      Definitely listen to your body/mind and take a break if you can. Find a quiet place with little to no stimulation, breathe there, and then return to being social. If you can’t take a break, definitely try breathing or grounding techniques or even affirmations. If the cause of your irritability or anxiety is overstimulation, it’s good to recognize that and try to counter it 💕 hope this helps:)

    • lovemeli

      704d

      nope guilty I went on a text rant last night and all the issues came about, it's like when it starts there is no off switch for me

    • limewire

      704d

      oh god yeah, i end up lashing out at my boyfriend all the time when im in an anxious state. i just try to warn him when im irritable. and i try to walk into another room to cool down if i get really annoyed..

    • knightmare

      705d

      I work in a call center so I know how much of a nightmare that can be. My wife knows if I sequester myself from the crazy that I’ve had a tough day and need to decompress. It’s been getting worse though- a lot of what’s going on is starting to reflect in my work and my boss looked at me like “are you okay?”

    • bbybutterfly

      705d

      Yes!!! I worry about my capacity to live with a partner or have kids because I get irritated by people close to me for too long, so I’m really trying to figure out how to manage this and talk about it in ways that my loved ones can understand and support. I try to proactively let people know that I’ll be needing alone time at certain times of day, so that I don’t have to figure out how to fully explain it in the moment while I’m irritated.

    • ginnypotter

      705d

      Yes a lot here lately

    • AnimalBoy

      705d

      Yeah I get severely over stimulated and then horribly frustrated over everything, even if I'm not it makes it hard to monitor my tone and my normal tone when I'm not feeling well is fairly pissy sounding so everyone around me gets upset with me or offended constantly. I always feel guilty and the constant feeling that I can't say anything the right way unless I'm putting all my effort into it just makes it all worse.

    • LadyZephyr

      705d

      I am a mother to a toddler, this happens to me more often than I'd like, and when it does I just give myself a time out and find a corner to do some deep breathing. Idk if it'll help but it does for me. I know my guilt eats me alive if I let the overstimulation turn to anger...

    • Emmmmy

      705d

      I relate to this HARD. I’m a new mother, very young plus I took in my autistic sister. My sister has a dog that is VERY loud. I get overwhelmed with any kind of textures and feelings. I have major issues with lashing out with things as small as sheets being wrinkly. Definitely following this because I need coping skills

    • PicklesMom

      705d

      Tbh, meds have helped me a lot with this. I also take showers with the bathroom light off to kinda reset my brain. Sometimes I just need 5 min in a dark room to calm down

      • Anon98

        705d

        @PicklesMom oooh I love that I honestly never thought of it thank you!!

    • Niz

      705d

      I go sit in a quiet place and do something to relax. If I'm at work I honestly go hide in the bathroom for a minute and do some deep breathing. It helps a little to get through the moment.

    • Raven_Rose

      705d

      Absolutely I’ve been there! Everyone is different but what helps me are writing, listening to my “anxiety playlist” and creating things. I keep a therapy journal that I just vent everything to, and have a dozen playlists each fit a different reason.

    • Anon98

      706d

      thank you so much! I've been trying to be as respectful and understanding of his feelings as I can while making sure he knows if he did something wrong and that's part of what has me so flustered because my S/O is a lot more old fashioned if you will and we butt heads on how to handle a lot of things. Like he's the kind to spank or scold for a tantrum rather than trying to understand why and what's wrong. And you're 1000% right being a kid IS hard. You depend on people for everything and anything you could ever want or need and sometimes your vocabulary is much more simplistic than theirs and something is missed in translation. You get asked a million times what you said and they guess random things until it gets figured out or you freak out from the shear stress and lack of understanding on how to handle and control your emotions. I think a lot of adults get so caught up in how hard parenting is that they forget it isn't any easier being a child. It's still just as hard and frustrating and painful but in much different ways. Ya know? I'm always telling him pain is relative. A splinter for a lion is a spear for an ant. You can't just go off of what's going on with YOU because THEY'RE suffering too. (sorry I'm rambling it just seems like you're the right people to talk to that would actually listen and give helpful feedback. This concludes my TED Talk)

      • kadin97

        705d

        @Anon98 no problem lol. I feel like I ramble on forever 😂. Me and my S/o also are on different pages lol. We struggled immensely with this at the beginning but we have instituted some rules that help. We sit down together every week for maybe just 10 minutes and "game plan" what we are doing right, wrong, etc. We try to get back on the same page. We prioritize this and do the best we can to never skip it. We used to argue about this stuff almost daily but we have decided to go it together instead of apart and doing these weekly meetings, we really get to find the best way to do that. It's definitely still a struggle sometimes and obviously we don't agree on everything lol. We definitely agree on doing the best thing for our child though and we came to the conclusion that involves both of us 😊. I probably rambled on there 😂

    • VirgoMamiAu

      706d

      Yes! I'm so out of control on the inside that I lose it on the outside. My thoughts and the noise go so fast that I need a break until it all calms down then I can deal/cope with everything

    • kadin97

      706d

      mine did the I hate you thing as well 😂. It really hurt at first but we have really focused on communicating and I try to explain everything to him. I never assume he won't understand something. I used to.... but after I dropped that and just decided he could understand it, things are much better for him and for me. I don't think there is ever a correct way that works for all children. I just focus on one day at a time.... make a lot of mistakes and do the absolute best I can. Every day is a learning opportunity for me and for him. I think we should look at life like that and just try to have the best life we can 😊. Unfortunately as parents the hardest lesson I have had to learn Is he isn't me I can't control him. I can only teach him what I know and try to push him in the best direction I know of.

      • kadin97

        706d

        @kadin97 I want to clarify lol. He is 3 so I have to control him to some degree lol. I just try to stay back from trying to control his feelings and emotions and such. I try to guide him in safe ways to deal with them because being a three year old is hard 🤣.

    • Anon98

      706d

      oh cool! I'll have to try that with mine. I was afraid of confusing him with this kind of stuff right now since he's only 3 but I'll definitely try that!! I'd been talking with him about easy blanket stuff like happy sad hungry mad and he does pretty well telling us how he feels and when he throws his tantrums I usually ask him questions to distract him from the screaming (favorite color cartoon dinosaur etc) and once he's calmed we talk about why he was so upset and what made him angry. We just started "I don't like it when" because he got into a bit of a habit of saying "I hate you" when he doesn't get his way

    • kadin97

      706d

      Unfortunately... Yes 😂. I try to separate myself from others but my 3 year old is not a fan 😂. I have however talked about safe spaces and the importance of respecting other people's emotions. When he throws a tantrum he has his own safe space with pillows and calm stuff he can go to calm down and I don't bother him there. That's his space. It teaches him what I need sometimes and he seems to get it pretty well actually. 😊

      • cbhx13

        705d

        @kadin97 I totally agree! I remember as a child my parents never gave me an opportunity to decompress. They were always in my face and even got angry when I was upset. So that’s awesome!!

      • Anon98

        706d

        @kadin97 sorry my last comment was supposed to be a reply to yours 😅 I forgot to hit the reply button

    • cbhx13

      706d

      Yup.been there done that

    • Alli_Apple

      706d

      My loop earplugs are my heroes!

    • Florina

      706d

      I have certain places, my room, my swing in my room, headphones in out walking. I get left alone by those who know me enough to know when I end up there, I need to be alone to decompress. If you can’t be alone completely, sound proof headphones are amazing. Or even just ear plugs meant for those who need to decompressz

      • Anon98

        706d

        @Florina okay thank you cause with a 2 and 3 year old running around alone isn't much of an opinion 😂 I try locking myself in the bathroom for a bit but they keep banging on the door because they can't just open it and "scare mommy" I've been pretty good about not having an outburst to/around them but it's definitely getting harder especially since they're at the age that "Naptime is overrated" 😬 😂

        • Florina

          706d

          @Anon98 sounds about normal for have two kids those ages! I’m a nanny and a lead preschool teacher and I helped raise my now 6 year old niece. They could be asleep or 10000% fine watching a movie or playing and I would quickly go to the bathroom while I could and the second I closed that bathroom door, oh my 🤦🏼‍♀️ something always happened or they wanted to be with me lol.

    • TwirlyGreenIvy

      706d

      I have my chill zone, my porch. I’m usually left alone there.

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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