Struggling to Open Up to My Therapist About My Psychosis

hi :) my name is sucrose ! i asked a similar question to this before but i want it to reach a wider audience and hopefully get some advice. after struggling with symptoms of psychosis for years (mostly paranoid delusions and irrational thinking) i finally decided to seek help. i have a therapist who is kinda and understanding, and who does her best to help me. my main issue is whenever i have the opportunity to talk about my issues and receive help for them, i always freeze up and go along the route of “everything’s fine, i’ve been ok” even though my intense paranoia has kept me from developing personal relationships with people and and has ruined most relationships i have. i’m frustrated with myself- i’m put in a position that some people don’t get to have, but i can’t get the words out to explain to her how much i’ve been suffering. i think this may fall into a category of wanting to not be seen as “crazy” or “irrational” and wanting to be the perfect model patient and child who has nothing wrong with them. i just want some advice as to how to be more honest to my therapist and talk about things i might be too scared to talk about in general. thank u all so much for any responses it means so much to me :) <3