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Finleaf

349d

My therapist says I don't have NPD but my friend with several Cluster B PDs says I do and I'm just caught in the middle. Who do I believe? How can I find a definitive answer? I'm learning a lot about myself by reading about NPD and relating to many things, but everything I've told my therapist about she's said is normal or comes from other roots that aren't NPD. For the most part, we get on really well and I trust her so it's really throwing me through a loop.

    • sillyashell

      349d

      Medical professionals get hesitant with personality disorders usually. Ask her what parts she thinks can be explained by other things and look into those things, compare them to NPD, and talk to her about it. Some parts she thinks as being "normal" is something I find interesting. Insecurity and jealousy are normal emotions that people have but NPD insecurity and jealousy I find is all-consuming, hard to control, and if you're not careful you shatter relationships over it. NPD can overlap with some things, I find I relate to my autistic friends alot, but the underlying reasons for the symptoms are different

      • Finleaf

        349d

        @sillyashell An example I remember her saying is that my need for constant positive attention and external validation "isn't from NPD" but from "a need to feel seen" bc of my childhood trauma, for example. I am also autistic so I imagine she is seeing the same overlap that you do between you and your autistic friends! Stuff like my maladaptive daydreaming of myself as the most loved, charming, intelligent etc. person; making friendships which mainly function to boost my self esteem; and the hierarchal way I categorise who is worth my time and who isn't, I said I thought was normal and she didn't disagree. She said all she saw was a person who was deeply self-aware. I wouldn't say my jealousy is all-consuming to be fair, but insecurities definitely. I do have complex trauma so I guess that's to be expected

        • sillyashell

          349d

          @Finleaf I get what she means by that, I too have trauma but I feel like it directly relates to narcissism and my therapist actually agrees with me on that. NPD is a deeply complex disorder and external validation is a huge part of it, if it's just external validation as a standalone I think you could argue that's just trauma but maladaptive daydreaming, strategic friendships and etc what you're describing does not seem like coincidence. I relate alot to you there. But as always it takes a certain amount of symptoms to actually fit the diagnosis. I think there's definitely potential and I would encourage you to ask her why exactly she thinks your proposed symptoms are normal + her alternatives because my theory is that there's a hesitance for personality disorders in general but I do not know her. In any case I wish you luck especially with the lack of information available on what exactly NPD is

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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