The Loneliness of Addiction and Life After 40

I feel alone in this world but I know alot alot of people doing Custer service and but when ever I seem at another place where I don't work and they try to spark up a convo but by this time it feels like something bads about to happen so I pretty much been sticking to my self I can't do crowded places I about pass out I really don't know why this happens some times it feels like I'm to loud for my upstairs neighbor its on only has four apartments the people seem to be decent people but not even a sound comes from they place so once sun goes down so I just in soelence I really started to think about more about my future feels as times running out for me and I'm 40yrs old is that old I feel kinda young but my body always in pain it's always something I don't use pulls etc I went threw that when opioid addiction after a head on collision broke 13 ribs shattered my left no segeries just braced leg for a year they kept putting me back into coma because of the pain I would have been so I get my pills missed used them got addicted to them ran out was sick my cuz did the put a phat rail down so snooted not shootted and bam I was hook for 2 years some months either way clean 4yrs now never again but I don't know the streets loves no 1 is what I learned but will never for get but really I don't care I don't have a heart that mother effer went threw the ringer I guess I'm only here for mother and sister other brothers are about themselves either way this is one Hella of a ride... thanks Brandon #LETSGOBRON Either way felt good to let that out but I'm miss real conversations in person or over the ol style land line