i feel your pain all too well!! i feel so much safer in the hospital because they manage my symptoms and somehow i feel safer if i were to get sick while i’m there.
in my experience, constipation can seriously do a number on you. you may want to talk to your doctor about something like linzess, or maybe being on miralax pretty often to prevent constipation. neither of those will make you feel sick and they will help clear you out! i had that issue earlier this year and once i got the constipation under control i definitely felt much better.
it’s also important to know that anxiety itself on top of emetophobia can cause a lot of nausea and while you really are feeling that nausea, you aren’t sick! throwing up is a very metabolically expensive action and your body is not going to put you through that action without a real cause. and i know that eating is hard but not eating makes you feel so much worse. stick with plain foods (i like uncrustables, honey nut cheerios, plain frozen yogurt, fruit, toast/bagels) and once you’re used to food again, it will be easier to branch out and eat things that you like again.
i know it’s easy to convince yourself that food will make you sick, but if your constipation is under control it really shouldn’t! it may also be beneficial for you to get a food allergy panel. i did this and several foods popped up so i know now what i really should avoid vs. what i maybe have mental reservations about. i hope this helps, i’ve been struggling with this phobia since i was about 4 years old, feel free to come to me with any questions!