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Charlie_17

529d

Okay, so we finally figured out that having a complex inner system that pretty much acts as a jury in your head that consistently goes by the titles Me, Myself, and I with different people taking care of different tasks isn't as the neurotypicals say, "normal". We're not officially diagnosed, we've barely talked to our therapist about this, but our fellow system friend heard our disassociation and I-just-sort-of-watched-myself-do-it stories and said,"yep. sounds like my disorder. :)" Then they gave us that official looking disassocitive disorder symptoms test and we scored a 57.5 (our already diagnosed system friend scored somewhere in the 30s for context). Then when we realized we were *actually* people and not just goofy little trauma side affects we started switching a lot on purpose. Because that was an option now apparently. Oh, and our hyperfixation on DID in middle school where we ultimately decided we didn't have it because we don't experience black-out amnesia wasn't so random after all. So on the one hand this is really nice because it's easier to talk about things with eachother and we all have legit names now. On the other hand it's extremely stressful and our host of at least 3 years is leaving the front more and more often and leaving me to just sort of figure things out? he needs the break but it's really overwhelming. So I downloaded another app lol. I guess I'm just looking for someone to talk to about all of this before we convince ourselves we're faking again. Or maybe just say this all out loud so we feel a little less crazy idk

Top reply
    • UnknownGalaxySystem

      487d

      I'm a new system! For now I feel you. I just now got the names of my alters, and I only knew two because they hid as, well, me! It's nice to find who has been helping you all your life. I'm sorry your host seems really exhuasted, but as you've mentioned: they need it. The best thing to do, is ask the others for help!

    • UnknownGalaxySystem

      487d

      I'm a new system! For now I feel you. I just now got the names of my alters, and I only knew two because they hid as, well, me! It's nice to find who has been helping you all your life. I'm sorry your host seems really exhuasted, but as you've mentioned: they need it. The best thing to do, is ask the others for help!

    • Starcycle

      529d

      Feeling your faking is part of the disorder ^^ and as for your host thing, I feel that. I'm the new host and don't really know how to handle life either. You're not alone in that.

    • sillyashell

      529d

      Congratulations! Being able to put names to alters and feel okay talking about it is a great step. I feel like worrying you're faking it is a big part of the disorder. I would often worry I didn't have it and minimize our experiences and my headmates would get offended. I hope you all continue the journey!

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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