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Nanaof2

732d

Hello, I am new to this and am glad I found this. I suffer with chronic pain and a few other medical problems. although my family tries to be understanding I don't fell like they truly understand how much these medical issues affect me and my everyday life. I get so tired of saying "I'm not mad I'm just hurting". I don't know if anyone else every feels like that?

    • jaybeejb

      724d

      Yes. I just stop explaining.

    • loopie

      727d

      I'm sorry y'all have to go through all this pain, I take pain meds asking with gabapentin..I also found a gel that works wonders for temporary relief of the pain, it really works and a lot of prayers. If crazy I thought I was the only one not being able to get out of my bed... there's so much I'd lie to do with my grandkids, but here I am not being able to and it really sucks.

      • KitKat1450

        727d

        @loopie so glad you found something to help! What gel helps you?! And it does suck and I’m so sorry you aren’t able to do more with your grandkids💕 hope you can get enough relief to do so 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

    • mare1

      727d

      Unfortunately, Nana I know how you feel!!

    • hazyeclipse

      728d

      I feel like that all the time. My parents have never, ever shown any empathy or sympathy for what I'm going through. Not once. It's always about them or how it affects them financially. My friends (and I'd say my brother) are much more understanding and empathetic. I only have a couple left since I lost touch with others, but having them helps

    • PhantasmaVocem

      728d

      I’ve been dealing with this a lot, recently. My mother and I both suffer from chronic pain issues, so while we both understand the underlying cause of the anger and irritability, things can get rather tense. Just remember that you ain’t alone out there. While this condition can feel incredibly isolating, people that care for you are always there to help; even through the moments where you’re “not mad, just hurting.”

    • Harvey78

      728d

      I read the best introduction of a book on cleaning it broke down that doing everything including washing dishes is more complicated than just washing its you gotta not be in chronic pain or depression yiy have to be able to stsnd there or bend over to fill the dishwasher its so far the most understanding book ive read about how hard basic tasks are and in just in the introduction. Ive tried flylady shes nice but puts it all on perfectionism for me its my chronic pain and no amount of just postive thinking will help. The book isnt a program like flylady. Its this well thought out book by a therapist. I hope it helps me with my little piles.

    • ivy77

      730d

      Everyday. I have chronic pain for over 17 years. I smoke the best bud, when it's at it's worse, I'll take a Seroquel or too and go to sleep

    • KitKat1450

      732d

      I relate to all of this so much. I hate that y’all feel this too. I hope relief comes🙏🏻 I don’t want sympathy just understanding from those close to me. When my family/friends ask me how I feel and Now I’ve started saying I’ll let you know when I have a good day. I don’t know how to handle that because I feel like they don’t understand “chronic” and I want to be there but either I literally can’t or the toll it would take for me to push thru would be too great of a price or I did my damn best to set myself up to have a good day but it didn’t work-I’m not able to control my body like I used to be. My sister actually had a huge herniated disc in her low back- came on really fast and within a month and a half from pain onset she had surgery and fixed it. She was moving better than me and in less pain the day after surgery. I was so happy for her she didn’t have to struggle that long. After that she told me she was sorry for being irritated when I would say I’m not up for something. That felt validating. Until the rest of my family pushed me to get 3rd and 4th options to try to get surgery (my back isn’t operable- degenerative disc disease too much is effected to actually operate). I know they try to help but it just makes me feel like I’m not trying to heal hard enough when my condition is chronic and the point is to manage, and I am constantly doing my best and seeking out what could help me. I’m grateful for my family/friends and feel guilty when things upset me when their intentions are to help. Actually helping someone in chronic pain looks much different than they’re used to. I do see it as my responsibility to teach them what helps and hurts, because they have no idea what it’s really like to not be able to have it “fixed” and have it control your life in a soul sucking way. Otherwise I fear I’ll just be resentful and I don’t want that on top of all of this.

      • Nanaof2

        732d

        @KitKat1450 I know exactly how you feel...I literally tell my family, how about I tell you what doesn't hurt because it's a much shorter list...and then I will say my left earlobe and my right eye do not hut at the moment" what aggravates me is that when I'm having thoese really bad days, my husband will say that he know that im in pain and that he has been with me the entire time. But what I can't seem to get him to understand is that I'm aware that he knows that I'm in pain, however when he is doing something, working, etc he "forgets for that time" that im in pain whereas there is not even 1 second of my day that I am not reminded that I'm in pain. The mental exhausting part is just a bad as the physical pain. If that makes any sense

        • KitKat1450

          732d

          @Nanaof2 absolutely makes sense… all of it. What isn’t hurting or a problem at the moment much easier to answer! And yes the consuming every second constantly seeking distraction from it but it’s always there- whether it’s screaming or hopefully whispering but it’s constant and tormenting, so beyond exhausting. I’m sorry you get it. It sucks more than they know and glad you have your husband to do his best to be there for you. I wouldn’t wish this on anyone but am trying to accept they won’t fully understand if they don’t live it and how to process that they won’t understand and that being ok and how to allow support and live in. I work for my dad- allows me to work on days I’m up for it and rest when not. He called to ask me to do something and was like oh never mind you sound like you’re in pain and I told him this is normal and it’s because I’d been trying to not take my pain pill and I’ve usually taken my pill when we talk and when I’m working for you I have to take it for the brain fog to lift enough to be able to work. I live alone so I really only see people when I’ve taken it so I can manage and within the past year it’s been unmanageable and don’t have enough to take as much as I need so people are surprised that they can see the pain effecting me more than just hearing or slightly noticing. This isn’t new, I’m in flare and usually able to mask it better. Thank God for the pain pills I do have to bring some relief for a few hours. But I can only spare to use them when I have to be functional now. That’s my biggest stress… everything has consequences now. And I have to account for that or I’ll end up in the hospital again so the “it’ll be fine” “you’ll have fun once you get there” or “you can push thru, you’ve done it before” just sets me off. It’s not worth it right now. Every time I talk about this I realize how much bottled up stuff just spews out when I feel safe to talk. Should probably work on that more with my therapist lol. I’m glad I found this thread and feel validated and seen and hope the same feeling for you.

    • Harvey78

      732d

      Hard to be happy in pain. I was quick to anger and irritable all the time before i found my pain dr. My family blamed my psych issues and ignored my pain till my dr said i legit wasnt making it up suddenly they are like hows your pain? When im no nonsense and like get to the point. I lay in bed most day so sitting up on the phone hurts my lower back (havent seen my pain dr since before pandemic oct 2019) im dealing with anxiety issues before ill be able to take metro and get up to see my dr. I get lidocaine injections(8) in my back ever 2½ month before pandemic.

      • Nanaof2

        732d

        @Harvey78 I can relate and know exactly how you feel. I hate that i feel like my entire life is based on how my pain is that day. I've stopped committing to future plans with family and friends becaue I feel like I've let them down when the day arrives and I can't even get out of bed. I don't want people to feel sorry for me..I just want to not hurt all the time!

        • Harvey78

          732d

          @Nanaof2 exactly I have the worst time falling asleep and staying asleep. My meds make me loopy and pass out I take them at 8 and am passed out 20 min later but then I wake up and midnight in pain waiting to fall asleep again I that 800 mg of ibuprofen to sleep my dr used to prescribe 800mg pills so I didn't have to pat over the counter. But I ran out and have divvydose.com idk if my ibuprofen prescription ran out or if they won't fill it I will ask. But i cant seem to sleep without it.

    • Leahness

      732d

      I feel like this ALL THE TIME!! 🤗

      • Nanaof2

        732d

        @Leahness if you don't mind me asking what is the cause of your chronic pain

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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